The theme song for the evening....

Big Day

So in addition to being Day One of the Illinois bar exam (for most people... or Day five of the Illinois bar exam for moi and some other unlucky few), today Elle Woods is going to see a gastroenterologist/hematologist/endocrinologist about her neverending medical drama. She'll be having blood drawn, liver scans, and all sorts of test to figure out what's been going for the last 365+ days. (Those of you who have been reading for a while will recall that she got very sick about 10 days before the bar exam last year - you can read all about that in the archives)

If you have a second and can say a little Prayer to St. Francis, Elle and I would very much appreciate it!

I also found this prayer for sick pets that I will be saying several times today!

Heavenly Father,

Please help us in our time of need,

You have made us stewards of Elle Woods.

If it is Your will, please restore her to health and strength.

I pray too for other animals in need.

May they be treated with the care and respect deserving of all Your creation.

Blessed are You Lord God, and holy is Your name for ever and ever

Hoping this new doc can figure out what's wrong with the big girl and get her fixed up ASAP! As soon as she's better she can come back to Chicago... I know the dog beach has missed her!

And of course - Good luck to everyone taking the bar exam today!

Last Day

Last Day before the bar exam.
Hopefully the LAST last day before the bar exam.

Which means tonight is my last all nighter. Thank goodness!
Just kidding. I said that on twitter just to freak people out and sure enough, they freaked out.


Today I'm going to go over some outlines one last time, lay by the pool, and eat a cheeseburger.

Good luck to everyone! Try to relax!


Oh and stop googling shit like "I'm going to fail the bar exam".... it's not going to help.

Did I study everything I possibly could have?
Do every practice MBE question? Every essay for every subject?

Hell no.


Did I do everything I could without losing my freaking mind?
Absolutely.


Do I feel confident?
Not particularly.


Do I feel panicked?
Not really.



Am I ready to get this shit over with?
Absolutely.

Best of Seven

So while laying in bed trying to fall asleep tonight, I decided to check out my google analytics for the blog. (for you non bloggers - analytics is just a way to get information about who is reading your site, etc.)

I don't check them that often, but they're always good for a laugh...

In just the last 30 days:
- 31 separate people have gotten to my blog by googling "Legally Fabulous Real Name" .... as if I have a separate website where I list my name, address, phone number, social security number, and bank account information for you all to find me.
- 61 people have turned up here by googling "legally fabulous failed feb bar exam". Yes, yes I did. I also failed the July bar exam.
- a whole bunch of you got here by googling "going to fail the bar exam" and "MBE score needed in Illinois" and "bar exam anxiety"

Between the searches that have led some of your here, the comments you've left, and the e-mails I've gotten, I wish I could give you all a big ole Texas hug and buy you a cocktail.

Chin up kids, it'll all be over soon.  I'll be saying a couple prayers for all of us... especially the unfortunate ones who are taking this shit for the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th times.



We've got just a couple of days left... now let's do like Tyson Chandler and send this one home.

Remember -  the bar exam is like a best of 7 series.
You don't have to get every MBE question right. You can bomb an entire essay, and still pass.
You don't have to win the first four games in a row, although that will certainly get the job done.
Stick through the whole series, win just over half, and you're the world motherfucking champion.

Take Dat Wit Chew, Barzam takers.

Fate

Granny sent me money last week and the check arrived the first day of the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.

This was not merely a coincidence, this was a sign from the heavens.

Vince Camuto 'Zisson" Sandal

These babies arrived today and they fit perfectly and are actually pretty comfy!
So excited to be able to wear them in one more week!

one more week

 C:  When you done with your test?

You are ruining my summer.

me:  i know.

next wednesday

at about 4:30

wanna get drunk?

 C:  Why yes!~

 me:  k cool

 C:  How about we do bottle service on Thursday?

then go to frat night...then eat 5 guys!

Bottle service, cheeseburgers... 
there's a very dim light at the end of this HELLACIOUS tunnel. 

I wrote the following yesterday:
I cannot believe that I have to take this test again.


I cannot believe that I have already failed the bar. Twice.


Right now the Illinois bar exam is one week away.


I feel like I know less than I know at this point a year ago.
I definitely feel like I know less than I did a week before the test in February.


I am doing horribly on practice questions.


I cannot concentrate for more than a few hours at a time.


I am so frustrated.


I am so annoyed.


I wish I had something else going on in my life to look forward to to get me through this.


I don't even know what to do at this point.  I'm seriously close to saying fuck it and not taking this test again.
But then what would I do?


I keep trying to tell myself that there's a light at the end of this tunnel... but there's really not. It's not like I just have to get through taking this test and then it's all over.
After I take it, there are two+ months of waiting.
And then there is the very real possibility of failure again.


What would be worse: not taking it for the third time, or failing it for the third time?


I want to run away from my life.
Somewhere tropical.








Then I talked to my mom

I also met with my tutor, went to CrossFit and did a real pushup for the first time, and I feel a little better now.

But I still think I might want to be an Indian Chief.
An Indian Chief in a tropical location.

I have about 300 dollars in my checking account at the moment....
I would pay about $250 of it if I could take this stupid bar exam today. The whole thing. All 12 hours of it. In one day.

I wouldn't pay the whole $300 because I will need the last $50 to pay for cabs and booze after it's done.

Get Over It

I don't even want to take this test again.

I have no motivation. I don't care.

The next 9 days are going to be absolutely freaking terrible.

Biggie Biggie Biggie

Tomorrow afternoon I am going to see a hypnotist. 

She is going to hypnotize out any bar exam related anxiety/frustration.

And then I am going to pass the bar exam.

p.s. this is my 666th blog post

Get Over It

Moi: "I have done a ton of MBE Questions for every subject. Well, except property. I haven't done very many Property Questions. I hate property, so I avoid it."




Tutor: "Mmmmkay, well, I think maybe it's time for you to have a Come to Jesus meeting with yourself. Get over it."




Which just made me think of my mom because I remember her blasting the Eagles and telling me that this needed to be my theme song (or something along those lines).

So this will be my mantra for the next 12 days.


Also it might just be my theme song for everyone for the rest of time... because that's mostly what I feel like telling people all the time. GET OVER IT.

Foreshadowing

Yesterday I was g-chatting with a friend about this guy she knows that she wants to set me up with.
He's an attorney, so naturally one of my first questions:

"So did you tell him that I've failed the bar exam three times?"

OH.

MY.

GOD. 

Worst worst worst worst WORST mistype ever. 

Please please PLEASE do NOT be a Freudian slip. 

Passed on the third time. Not going to fail a third time. 

THIRD TIME IS THE FREAKING CHARM, DAMN IT. 

You might fail the bar.

This post started out as a comment on the blog of a twitter friend who posted that she was going to fail the bar, and then I decided that I might as well just make it its own post.




So here's the deal... I ain't gonna sugar coat it for you.

You could be right. You might fail the bar exam.
But you could also be wrong, and you might pass.

Illinois generally has about an 80% pass rate. So that means you've got about an 80% chance of passing the bar. Pretty good odds.
But 20% of the people who sit down to take the bar exam in Illinois in 2 weeks will not pass. That's the reality of it.

And if you don't pass? It will suck. It will suck really bad. And you'll have to take it again. And that will really really suck too.

Hell, you might even fail it the second time too. And that will suck WAY WORSE.

You might even fail it 13 times, like the woman from California.
I will not personally fail the bar 13 times, because there is no way in hell that I will take this godawful test that many times. And there's no way that my parents would support me while I study to take this test that many times. (At least I hope not).

You might fail and miss out on an opportunity at a firm that is an absolutely perfect fit for you, because you don't have a law license.
Or you might pass and have to use your license to do contract document review, because there are no opportunities, but that's for another post.

But the bottom line is this: If you fail the bar exam, you will not die.

The world as you know it will not end.

Your friends will not stop liking you because you didn't pass.

Your parents won't hate you.

And Belvedere will not stop manufacturing vodka. (PHEW.)

The only person who will be disappointed in you not passing is you.
We are always our biggest critics.

Plenty of smart people fail the bar.
Plenty of idiots pass the bar. Just got sit in a courtroom for a day and check out some of the retards who are practicing attorneys.

So I'm not going to tell you that you're going to pass the bar. Because I don't know whether you will or not. But I will tell you that it is all going to be okay.
Because seriously... IT IS ALL GOING TO BE OKAY.

Bar Exam help

Question for anyone who prepped for the MBE using MBE Edge/ Multistate Edge (they're the same thing just changed the name).

This is what I'm using this time around... I've done a bunch of MBE practice questions (500+ so far), but with a little over 2 weeks left I feel like I'm kind of stuck getting around 55% correct during each practice section. (this is with the exception of property which I do worse on)

Wondering what you did/what I should do to get myself over the hump and get the percentage of correct answers up.

So far I've only been doing them online, do you think switching to the books is going to be worth it? I don't feel like going back to the outlines at this point is helpful (keep in mind I've studied for this test three damn times now, I've read these outlines a gazillion times), so I'm just kind of wondering what to do.
I got some tips and tricks from my tutor last week but am just reaching out to see if anyone else has anything they can offer me.

I suppose if you didn't use the Edge program you could answer this too.

You can reply in the comments (make sure your e-mail address is set up so I can reply to you!) or email me at legallyfabulous1@gmail.com.

Thanks!!!!

Weekend Plans

So, this weekend is one of my best friend's bachelorette parties.

The group is going to Lake Geneva, in Wisconsin, for shopping, spa appointments, beaching, and general bachelorette fun.

I'll be alternating between my house and the library. And probably the gym.

FML.

Hypothetical Situation to Ponder

SO. Let's say I'm charged with murder. The state says that I murdered my friend Ted. 


I go on trial for murder. 


The prosecution says that they found Ted's body. And it was completely decomposed. So badly decomposed that the medical examiner could not determine a cause of death. The bones had been scattered about. 


The guy that found Ted's body first says that Ted's head was in a bag. Then he says that Ted's head was not in a bag. Then he admits that he poked Ted's skull with a stick. Then he says that he actually found Ted's body three months ago, but no one else found it then, so now he found it again. 


So the prosecution says that when the crime scene investigators got to the scene of the crime, there was duct tape over Ted's mouth and nose, which is evidence that I used duct tape to suffocate Ted. 

But that makes no sense. 

First of all - this other guy has been playing around with Ted's body and poking sticks at the skull. 

But just think about it... if I were to use duct tape to suffocate you, 

leave the duct tape on your body

and then I dumped your body

where it decayed for 6 months in 100 degree heat

and by the time your body was found

the bones had been scattered by animals 

and by a guy poking it with his stick

and by rain

and by other garbage

and by hurricane winds

etc.

and everything was gone

And it's been 6 months, so your body is totally decayed. 

you had no nose

no face

no lips

no hair

Do you think the duct tape would still be laying perfectly over your nose and mouth? Your nose and mouth that don't even exist anymore?

StudyZilla

Little Baby Zilla. 

I feel like I've been studying since I was about this age.

Oh and while we're looking at old pictures... I've been thinking about getting bangs again. 

I have a big forehead, and I think they hide it well. 

What do you think?

Happy Birthday Ms. Woods!

Today is Elle Woods 4th birthday!!!

The last year has been a rough one for Ellebaby (just like her momma), but I know we are both happy to say that on July 5, 2011, we are still kickin it!

Elle Woods has been with her grandparents and her sister Satin in Texas since Christmas 2010. As long as all things go the way I've planned, she will be back with me in Chicago in August, just as soon as bar exam round #3 is over with.

Can't wait to have my big girl back! Happy middle-age, sweet pup!

NOT GUILTY

NOT GUILTY NOT GUILTY NOT GUILTY.

I honestly can't even remember the last time I've been this happy.


#1 on my bucket list: Dallas Mavericks win the Championship
#2 on my bucket list: Free Casey
#3 on my bucket list: Pass the Bar exam.


On to the next one.

America

Read this article on CNN earlier today and had tears running down my face the whole time.

Soldier Leaves Legacy Much Larger than "He Was Gay"


Thank You to all our soldiers who have fought and continue to fight for our freedom as we celebrate Independence Day this weekend.
And Thank You to all those who fight for civil rights here in the homeland.
And to those who do both? I have no words. Thank You could not even begin to convey what I'd like to say to the Wilfahrt family.

God Bless America.