The Final Countdown

Bar Exam Results tomorrow.

Would like to thank blog reader Amanda for sending me this - I crack up every time I see it.

Not thinking about it too much. Spending most of the day jamming out to my two favorites:

And g-chatting. My friend Lindsay is a second year law student with a job at a big firm this summer. For you non-lawyer readers, this means she makes way better grades than I ever made. It probably also means that she's way smarter than me, although we could attribute her good grades/opportunities for a future to the fact that she studies a lot more than me. So let's go with that.
ANYWAY, we were discussing her big summer, and since I am OBVIOUSLY qualified for advice on how to succeed in BigLaw/life, I offered her some advice...

Lindsay:  and i seriously better get that job offer...

bc if not i'm kind of shooting myself in the foot

haha

 me:  i'm sure you will

 me:  just don't do anything stupid this summer

only sleep with associates, not partners

 Lindsay:  OMG

hahahaha

that's the worst advice ever

 me:  lol

no it isn't

 Lindsay:  yes it is

 me:  lollll

 Lindsay:  you're absurd

 me:  DUH.

tell me something i don't know.

 Lindsay:  DUH

Hopefully I have good news to report... should be about 24 hours. I'm actually feeling totally fine right now. Thank God, since about two weeks ago I was having dreams almost every night that I failed. I DID look up how much plane tickets would cost for me to get on a plane tomorrow afternoon and go to Miami or LA or somewhere if I fail, but other than that I'm doing fine. Fingers crossed work is busy and distracting tomorrow. 

Thanks for all the good thoughts and well wishes, either way! It's much appreciated!

Interview recap

Interview went well!
They're gonna do a second round of interviews next week and will let me know if they want to interview me again.

The partner that interviewed me said to definitely let them know when I get my bar results.
If they don't end up picking me it will just be because I don't have enough experience and they want someone who can basically show up in court on day one.
I said I'm comfortable and ready to do that, so I guess I'll see if they think I'm competent to do that!

It seems like it would be a great place for me to start my career and spend a lot of time in Court, which is exactly what I'm looking for.

Fingers crossed!

Thanks for all the well wishes on the blog, emails, tweets etc. They're all much appreciated!

Hopefully I have very good bar exam news to share in about 48 hours, eeek.
I am feeling fine about.... Not really "confident" since I obviously realize failing is a definite possibility, but there's nothing I can do about it at this point. Need to get results and move on with my life!

Phew... What a week. Send good juju to Chicago please.
Oh and warm weather and cheeseburgers too please

Interview Prep

Interview is scheduled for Wednesday morning.....

 me:  yeah

so i have this interview on wednesday

and i feel like i should be doing something to prepare

but i don't know what

 N:  I'm sure you've done a sufficient amount of internet creeping

Have you thought of a nice summary of your work experience, etc and answers to the bs interview questions?

 me:  yeah

i mean i basically already said that in the cover letter

talking about the shit i've done is easy. i love talking about myself.

and yes i've done internet creeping

they are a small firm so there's not too much to creep on

 N:  Yea that's how I felt with my job

Just relax and be yourself

Eh

On second thought

Think of someone who is less shambly and be that person

Now to outfit plan...

ENGAGED!

Ha!
NO I am not engaged (by the way - thanks Kyle. You're the first person I'll tell when I really am engaged). .

But... GUESS WHAT!!!!

I have an interview next week!!!! It's for a job that I think would be perfect for me...

Although working at the brand new ChickFilA in Chicago WOULD be a perfect gig for me (you KNOW I'm gonna be a regular), that's not it...  (by the way - my friends are assholes, I know)
It's for an associate position at a small firm.. sounds like it would be a great place for me to work!

Can't wait to find out more about the firm/job next week!
Whoohooo, so pumped!

2/5ths of an adult.

So I was reading this article about 20-somethings in the New York Times. 


One little blip that caught my eye: 

Sociologists traditionally define the “transition to adulthood” as marked by five milestones: completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying and having a child.

So According to sociologists... I'm only 2/5ths of an adult. 

Sometimes I feel like an adult... and sometimes I think this sounds about right.

I may be almost 26 years old with a J.D. living 850 miles away from home, but I think until I am actually financially independent, I won't feel like an adult. 

As for marrying and having a child? No... I don't feel like I need those things to be an adult.  

But on the other hand my friends who are married and/or have kids certainly seem to lead more "adult-like" lives than I do.... (aka my married friends are more boring than my single friends and party less). 

So... what do you think.... are you an adult? Is this a good indicator of adulthood?

Roid Rage is apparently contagious

Elle has a little bit of roid rage... Well not really, but the roids make her SOOO hungry she goes CRAZY for food/treats. My mom said she thinks Elle would probably walk through fire for some treats that my mom's friend sent the girls.
So anyway - Elle goes nuts for any sort of food/treat that she gets these days. And then she gobbles it down in one bite and most of the time tries to steal Satin's treat from her. Sometimes whoever is giving the treat (my mom, dad, or brother) can keep the girls apart so that Satin gets to finish her treat and fatty Elle doesn't get it.

Yesterday my mom gave each of the girls a bully stick. They don't get them very often, but they LOVE them. As per usual, Elle finished her bully stick in about 10 seconds, and Satin was still working on hers. My mom had to leave, so she opened the door to the backyard to let the girls get a drink of water before she put them in their crates while she was gone.

Satin got up to go get a drink, and Elle said "whoohoo! free stick!" and jumped to get Satin's bully stick.
Well, apparently Satin thought "enough is enough" and ran back in the house to let Elle know that it was NOT OKAY TO KEEP STEALING HER TREATS!

And then the girls fought. And my mom screamed to break them up but the damage was done very quickly...
And now Elle looks like a junkyard dog. :(

So. NO MORE treats or sticks for the girls. And my mom said last night she threw away every single bone or food type toy that they have. And of course this morning they went on their walk together and were back to being best friends like nothing ever happened.

Poor junkyard roid rage dog. :(
Good news is my mom said it doesn't seem to be bothering her at all and she let my mom clean her up and put some ointment on it. It just looks bad. VERY bad!

Two Weeks Notice

February bar exam results come out two weeks from today (most likely).

On Wednesday night I had my second dream this week that I got the results and failed again.
And I woke up in a cold sweat.
I want to barf when I think about the possibility of failing again. Actually that's not true... it's not barf that I feel. It's absolute DREAD.
I dread the idea of failing again. I dread the thought of figuring out what the hell I'll do if I fail.

I don't even know what I'll do if I fail.

I know it's "just an exam", and I really handled it that way the first time around. I mean don't get me wrong I thought/said "FML" about a gazillion times since finding out I failed, and it sucked, but I knew/know it was just a minor setback in the long run. I barely cried. I handled it really freaking well. I mean I'm not PROUD of failing the bar exam but it wasn't like the worst thing that ever happened to me.

However... The possibility of failing a second time? That's way past a minor FML setback. It would seriously be the worst thing that could happen to me. As my close friends can attest to, I'm pretty fragile right now. (well... Fragile for me).
Maybe I'm being dramatic, but if I fail again? I'm going to absolutely freaking LOSE IT. like we're talking off the deep end you'll never hear from Zilla again LOSE IT.
I don't even know what I'll do... Move home? Start looking for non legal jobs? In Chicago? Dallas? Pack my shit in a suitcase and move to Aruba?

Two more weeks of bad dreams.

Tourist Season is Upon Us.

*warning, city snob rant ahead:

Tourists are ALWAYS bad on Michigan Avenue... Seriously I avoid Michigan like the plague. They stroll along, 8 people from rural Indiana  who came to the big city for their vacation walking side by side so that no one can pass by them. 
I don't think any of then actually even shop, so why they stroll down michigan beats the hell outta me, but they certainly do.

And the best? They stop the bus (The bus full of people trying to get to work!!!!) to ask the bus driver 

"DO YOU GO TO THE MUSEUM?"

Then depending on the bus drivers answer the convo goes

NO? WHICH BUS DO I TAKE TO THE MUSEUM?

Or 

"OH OKAY GREAT! DO YOU HAVE CHANGE FOR A TWENTY?"...

 "AND CAN YOU LET US KNOW WHEN WE NEED TO GET OFF THE BUS FOR THE MUSEUM?"

while they load up grandma and their triple wide stroller that they use to push their 9 year old in. 

They take their sweet time while everyone is getting pissed off as we sit through ANOTHER green light waiting for them to load up.

Then grandma or mom doesn't hold on to the railings on the  bus when it starts going and stumbles and has to catch herself in someone's lap because oh my Gosh he just took off so fast and wasn't that so funny?!?!

No. No one is laughing.
But the first few weeks of "spring" weather? THE WORST.
It's 45 degrees and sunny in Chicago today... and that means they're here. (shudder)

Waiting at the bus stop on Michigan Avenue this morning in their MATCHING ELMO SHIRTS FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY. 

So yeah... tourist season is upon us. 
And I need a new freaking bus route.

Bad Dream

Last night I dreamt that I showed up to the second day of the bar exam wearing a really uncomfortable pair of pants and a super itchy sweater. I had also forgotten my ear plugs and my admission ticket.
I had my ID so they let me go ahead and sit for the test without my admission ticket since it was Day Two and they knew me, but I was totally flustered. And uncomfortable in my shitty outfit.

What in the hell could that possibly mean?!

My irrational anger associated with Lent

So you know how some things just piss you off way more than they should for no apparent reason?
Sorta like a pet peeve that doesn't just annoy you but really ANGERS you?

Admittedly I have a LOT of these things. I have basically zero patience... I get it from my dad.
For example - I get SO DAMN MAD when someone gets next to me on the treadmill at the gym when there are 20 empty treadmills. I know that annoys a lot of people but it brings up an irrational rage in me that does not make sense given the fact that, yeah, it's annoying, but it's not a big deal. AT ALL. And I need to get over it. but. RAWR.

So now to the point of this post - I get irrationally angry when people talk about what they're giving up for Lent.
This is going to take a long explanation, so bear with me.

First of all - I went to Catholic school my entire life, other than undergrad. Which means that in my 25 years on this Earth there basically isn't a part of the Catholic faith that I haven't had beaten in to my head ad nauseum. (I'm not even exaggerating here).

Growing up, Lent was always a BIG DEAL. What you were going to "give up" for Lent was a BIG DEAL. Almost like a competition. Because what isn't a competition? "Suzy's giving up chocolate so I'm giving up chocolate AND fruit snacks for Lent!"
And let's not forget the discussions  (I swear I asked my priest this EVERY year) about whether Sundays counted as part of what you "give up" for Lent because there are only supposed to be 40 days in Lent and if you count Sundays it's more than 40 days SO SHOULDN'T I BE ABLE TO EAT CHOCOLATE ON SUNDAYS?!?!?!?!!?
Oh And then the inevitable "I'm giving up homework for Lent!" proclamations that every one of us made approximately 87,000 times. I swear if I was a Catholic grade school teacher and one of my students said that I'd pop them in the face. (see again: I have no patience)

So first off - this part of Lent is ANNOYING. (although I guess you could file this under "kids are stupid" instead of as having anything to do with Lent).

I guess basically what I'm getting at here is summed up perfect by what my friend Mint Juleps and Magnolias said:

I didn't grow up with Lent as a tradition. I am, however, extremely put off by people who make a grandiose production of their "sacrifice."  They make it way more about themselves than about Christ. 

So that's what makes me so mad... Totally normal adults act like a bunch of third graders when Lent comes around and proclaim to everyone and their mother their sacrifices.
"I'm giving up fast food for Lent!" "I'm giving up booze!" "I'm giving up ChickFilA Sweet tea!"

It's especially bad on twitter. If I see another tweet about someone giving up booze or ChickFila I'm going to LOSE IT.

Let me repeat: LENT IS NOT ABOUT YOU. Lent is about Jesus, and the sacrifice he made for you.
I do distinctly remember having a couple teachers who would remind us that our decisions about what sacrifices to make for Lent were personal, between us and Jesus, so if we didn't want to talk about it we didn't have to.

At some point, (I can't even remember what teacher or when, but I don't think it was until high school), I had a teacher who explained it BEAUTIFULLY.
I also recently started reading a blog written by a Catholic priest in NYC, and he gave an excellent summation of Lent, why we sacrifice, etc.
So, the following is an explanation of what I believe is the true meaning of Lent, and why I do not give anything up for Lent.

What IS Lent?
Lent is when we celebrate Baptism and renew our Baptismal vows. It is the 40 day period before Easter where we pray and prepare our hearts and spirits for Jesus. The Catholic Church says that Lent is about prayer, penance and fasting, and almsgiving (works of charity).
Fasting means abstaining from meat on Fridays during Lent and fasting on other prescribed days (such as Ash Wednesday).

A good example of why giving things up is missing the point of Lent, from this article at Catholic.org:

Some years ago a friend of mine told me that he had urged his children to move beyond giving up candy to giving up some habit of sin that marked their lives. About halfway through Lent he asked the children how they were doing with their Lenten promise. One of his young sons had promised to give up fighting with his brothers and sisters during Lent. When his father asked him how it was going, the boy replied, "I'm doing pretty good, Dad—but boy, I can't wait until Easter!"

That response indicates that this boy had only partly understood the purpose of Lenten "giving up." Lent is about conversion, turning our lives more completely over to Christ and his way of life. That always involves giving up sin in some form. The goal is not just to abstain from sin for the duration of Lent but to root sin out of our lives forever. Conversion means leaving behind an old way of living and acting in order to embrace new life in Christ. For catechumens, Lent is a period intended to bring their initial conversion to completion.

So what SHOULD you do? Father Shane says:
More than “giving things up,” which is our popular way of thinking about Lent, why don’t you think about adding something? A daily prayer routine, a new little habit of charity around the people in your life, etc. The more generous we are — without it becoming an undue burden or without neglecting our duties — the more we’ll discover new blessings everywhere in our lives.

If you're looking for suggestions for what you should do during Lent, here's a great list: 

http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/40-ways-for-these-40-days/

I personally make a much greater effort to attend Mass during Lent. I do not go every single Sunday (I know, I know... bad!), but I always try to during Lent, and try to make a point to attend Mass during the week a couple times as well (best part about Catholic law school - mass in the chapel of the law school building every day at noon!)

Now I'm not saying that it's WRONG to give things up for Lent (although I don't do it and don't really believe in it, I know some people do and that's fine). I distinctly remember a family in grade school who gave up going out to eat for Lent. They took the money that they normally spent on eating out and donated it to a charity that the family decided on. I think that was a great way to do it. But giving up chocolate? Unless you're going to stop and say a prayer to Jesus and thank him for making the Ultimate Sacrifice for you every time you crave a piece of chocolate (and I'm not saying that can't be/isn't done), then your'e giving up chocolate for YOU, not for Jesus. And Lent is about preparing our hearts and spirits for Easter, NOT about renewing our New years Resolutions to lose weight that we've already given up on.

Now obviously I'm not proclaiming to be a better Catholic than anyone (uhhhh unless you're brand spanking new around here you know that that couldn't be further from the truth), but the Lenten season is one that has always been special to me and one that was discussed A LOT when I was growing up, etc., and I've just seen SO MANY tweets lately about people discussing what they're giving up, I had to blog about it.

SO - Questions/Comments/Thoughts?

Weekend Plans

Not many plans for this weekend... 

But I'm thinking it might be time to make a trip to the grocery store, what do you think?

Oh and my Christmas tree is still up. These things should probably bother me more than they do. Just don't tell my mom.