Barzam is over, life goes on.

Hola everyone - I'm alive and kicking.

I've done a whole lot of sleeping, eating, and drinking since Wednesday, which I expected. I went back to work on Friday... I can't afford to not be at work. I only work three days a week, so it's fine. I am just trying not to fall asleep at my desk right now.

So as for how the actual bar exam went:
I thought that the essays were really hard... way harder than July. The fact patterns seemed longer and the questions were way more involved... and they tested Administrative Law. I don't even know what the hell admin law is. I didn't even realize that the question WAS admin law until people were talking about it after the test. I thought it was a civil procedure question. So that's awesome. Not.
I thought that the MBE (the 200 multiple choice questions) was easier this time. The fact patterns seemed shorter which makes it much easier for this ADHD lawyer to be. Ha.

Tomorrow I plan on getting some resumes sent out and re-starting my job search. Broke doesn't even begin to describe my current financial situation... not to mention I need to do something with my life. Only working 18 hours a week is nice because it gives me plenty of time for CrossFit and sleeping and drinking, but I need to get it together.

I met a guy Wednesday night after the bar and we went out last night. He's really really really super nice.Like to the point where it kinda freaks me out because I don't think I've ever known anyone this nice. I'm definitely not that nice. And he actually calls when he says he'll call and took me out on a proper date. Definitely
I'm not sure if anything will come of it but I'll definitely see him again. As my friend Stephanie said in her e-mail after I recapped the date to her:

Oh. My. God. What? Is he being too nice?! Soo sweet! you néed someone

to level out your inner bitch or else it's never going to work. Bitch

+ bitch doesnt work. You're marrying him and having his babies. Get

over it.

She's right. Guess I'll keep you guys posted about wedding details. 

HA.

Other random funnies:

My mom goes to spinning three days a week at 5:45 AM. Apparently it's the same people in her class every time and they've all become friends. My mom texted me earlier today:
Mom: "In two weeks it's Satin's birthday." (Satin is Elle's sister/my parents Great Dane)
Me: "She'll be 3, right?"
Mom:  " Yep. My spin friends are going to happy hour and I said I could go even though it's Satin's birthday."

And later -
Mom: "I was thinking about hooking [your brother] up with Jessica from my spinning class. [Brother] told me he can't afford any bitches right now."


So there you have it.... being a crazy dog lady with a bad attitude and a penchant for swearing runs in the family.


Any lawyers in Chicago out there who are reading (and I know you're reading), send me an e-mail if you want to hire me. And you should want to hire me. I didn't make great grades but I'm not a dumb idiot when it comes to real life stuff, like most of the kids who made good grades. And I'll work for pretty cheap. Win/win!

Almost freaking there....

Day 1 recap: the people who write the multistate essay exam are HUGE assholes.


Day 2: let's do this bitches.


Edited to add:
Day 2 AM Thoughts: the fact that we can bring 15 of our own pens to use for writing the essays on day 1 (and you better be believe I had 15 pens on my desk... No time for an ink emergency), but have to use the non-mechanical pencils provided to us on day two?

NO.DAMN.SENSE.

Oh and you only get two pencils... Gotta get up and sharpen them if they break.
So dumb. Fo real.

Bar Exam, round two, day one... Here we go....

Zilla gets encouragement.

Two Days. 

No More Room

Got a text from my friend who is also taking the bar Tuesday/Wednesday with me. She said


"I feel like my brain is that coin machine where you knock them all off the edge when you put one more in ..."

Ugh. Yep. That's how I feel right now. Like I've been playing this game for so damn long that ALL the coins are at the edge. 


So basically - this is me right now. Trying to hold all my coins together.

lol. just google image searched trying to find pics of that dumb arcade game and this girl came up. and now I can't stop laughing. 

Help Needed: what should I name my dog?

After I fail the bar exam a second time it's going to be REALLY ridiculous (since right now it's only slightly ridiculos) to have a dog named Elle Woods... So what should I rename her?


On a related note: how the hell is it possible to study for the bar exam TWICE and still not know ANYTHING?

Tumblr Post on Abortion

Nothing new to post today... although if I find a good lolcat or a dinosaur pic I might toss that up here later. But I did find and repost something on Tumblr earlier that I think is worth sharing....

It's about abortion.


http://legallyfabulouszilla.tumblr.com/post/3364794104/drinkyourjuice-joyengel-standupforwomen-i

The video is worth a watch, but I just added a little paragraph about my thoughts on the video and abortion in general after. I basically 100% agree with Rep. Jackie Speier, who said:

“To think that we are here tonight debating this issue, while the American people, if they are listening, are scratching their heads and wondering “what does this have to do with me getting a job? What does this have to do with reducing the deficit?” The answer is nothing at all.”

My thoughts:

Yes, yes, YES. 

I am a conservative. I almost always vote Republican. I would never ever get an abortion, because I believe life begins at conception.  And I think Rep Speier is absolutely right here.  Bottom line I am a FISCAL conservative. My political views: Get people jobs, reduce the deficit, and stay the hell out of their doctors offices and vaginas. Smaller government people. Smaller government in every single aspect of life. Not smaller government when we’re talking about banks but bigger government when we’re talking about what you can decide to do with your reproductive health. SMALLER GOVERNMENT.



p.s. - as always, love to hear your thoughts. just don't be an asshole. or I will be an asshole right back, and trust me, I'm a bigger asshole than you.
Oh and feel free to e-mail me if you wanna chat about this or anything and don't wanna leave a comment. I might not get back to you until next week, but I will! legallyfabulous1@gmail.com

Care Package

I got a care package from my mom yesterday. (It was supposed to arrive on Valentine's Day but I did not receive it until two days later. Thanks a bunch, USPS!). My mom always sent the best care packages in college... my friends were always jealous. Of course I would have to go months without going home and they could all drive home in 2.5 hours, so it was only fair, right?

She sent McDonald's and Starbucks gift cards (whoowhoo!), a couple CD's (Sugarland and this years Grammy nominees), some Luna bars, lip gloss, a new Under Armor shirt, and a shit ton (approximately) of my two favorite types of candy  - SweetTarts and Smarties!
(let's also realize the irony of this package which so closely matches my life - workout gear, health food, candy, and fast food gift cards. HA)
Another well done care package from Mama Fab.

Gotta have Smarties when you're studying because they give you SMARTZ!
(side note - definitely just typed "smartiez"... totally normal to write in lolspeak when you're not intending to, right?)

One of my favorite things about care packages from momma - instead of using bubble wrap or old newspapers or packing peanuts to make sure that things don't shift/get broken during shipping, she uses old house plans.  She also turns the plans wrongside out and uses them to wrap boxes from the office so she can re-use the boxes. My dad is a homebuilder and my mom works for him, so she usually sends stuff from the office and uses office supplies. Whooo recycling!

This package came with a right and front elevation. They're dated September 08... but I'm not sure if this house was ever built or not.
Anyway - these always make me smile.


And for anyone who is wondering how studying is going:

I had a mini freak out last night.
I say mini because I wasn't really freaking out like panicking freaking out but I did spend a solid 10 minutes thinking about how NOT ready I was for Tuesday.
And I did give some serious consideration to postponing until July.

But then I got over it.
Because really, I wouldn't be any better off in July. I'd be sitting here on July 20th thinking "If I just had a couple more weeks, I'd be golden."
But really... is anyone ever totally confident? Well... maybe some people are. But I will never be that person. Because I will never be the person that didn't procrastinate and followed the schedule exactly and did everything I was supposed to do. Never have been, never will be.

So...
Are there still a couple of subjects I haven't even glanced over yet?
Yup.
Do I have a LOT of work today in the next 6 days?
Yup.
Is there a possibility that I'll fail again?
Well, sure.

But worrying about failing right now is definitely not going to help.

So for now I study. Next week I worry about failing.

Talented and Gifted

I am good at a lot of things.
I am REALLY good at some other things.
And in still other areas, my abilities are off the charts.

Even after 25.75 years on this Earth I constantly amaze myself with my ability to waste time and to consume food.
Seriously, if there was some kind of Olympic sport that was a combo of calorie consumption and ability to dick around for hours on end while accomplishing absolutely nothing? Gold medalist, right here.

Sometimes when I take my act-right pills* I can get stuff done. But sometimes act-right pills just give me extra abilities. Like the ability to concentrate on facebook. I can do it for HOURS when I take my meds.

Or lately? It's tumblr.
I can search "Dinosaur" on tumblr and before I know it OOPS! it's been three hours and I'm still sitting here laughing my ass off.**

Okay but really? This shit is funny.

 Yup, still laughing.


One more week til the bar exam.
Fingers crossed my Olympian-like talents transfer to the law for once, k?




*adderall, for those of you who aren't familiar 
**this is why I must go to the library sans computer to get any meaningful studying done. 

Everything is OKAY

Had a little scare yesterday (Friday), where I had a missed phone call and texts from my brother while I was at work that said "Elle is dieing and no one will answer the damn phone."*

So of course I call him absolutely panicked... He works less than a mile from my parent's house so he goes home during his lunch breaks to let the dogs out. (Since Elle is back on her high dose of roids she can't hold it very long and has to go outside for frequent potty breaks).

So I called him, FREAKING OUT, and he says "Elle is dying there's puke and diarrhea and blood EVERYWHERE"
uhhhhh
So then I freak out even more.
Then I tell him to get her in the car IMMEDIATELY and take her to the vet. I call the vet to let them know that they're on the way. As soon as I open my mouth to speak to the vet I BUST into tears. (think, "Hi, it's WAHHHHHH!"
Lol. Poor vet receptionist.

I finally get ahold of my mom who tells me she is going to meet brother at the vet. As mom is going to the vet, Dad is heading home to check out the scene so we can see if it's really as bad as brother made it out to be (the Fabulous family was on full alert!).... in the midst of my freakout my mother reminds me that my brother has never had a dog of his own before so he doesn't know what constitutes "dying" (or in his case, "dieing"), and what just means an upset tummy.

THANK GOD for my mother being the voice of reason.

Turns out that Elle is NOT dying. PRAISE JESUS MARY JOSEPH AND ALL THE SAINTS!

They immediately did bloodwork, since her blood has been the cause of her sickness lately, and bloodwork came back with platelets a little lower  than they were a week ago, but still in the normal range. THANK GOD! (If you're new to the blog or don't recall Elle's situation... she got sick in July 2010. She was diagnosed with Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia, and while we thought she was better she relapsed last month. You can check the archives for Elle's story or google IMHA for all the info you would ever want).
The only treatment for IMHA is steroids to suppress her immune system, so it doesn't attack her blood. A side effect of the steroids that she's on (in addition to insatiable hunger and thirst and the cataract that she's developed), is that it can be pretty tough on the GI tract. (have I mentioned lately how AWFUL steroids are?!?! I mean I love them because they're keeping her alive and "healthy" and happy, but the side effects are just terrible)
So they put her on a couple new meds to soothe/coat her GI tract, which we are hoping should return her stomach to normal and get the vomit/diarrhea under control.

SO - the explanation for the incident yesterday: Upset GI tract led to vomit and diarrhea in the crate. Vomit and diarrhea in the crate led to a Great Dane who tried to jailbreak the crate to get out. Using her nose on the metal bars of the crate in attempted jail break = blood everywhere.
And unfortunately for my brother he had to be the one to walk in on the scene.
Here's what Elle looked like after the vet cleaned her up (my mom left her there for the afternoon to get a bath since she was covered in diarrhea and vomit - lovely!)

My mom texted me this picture with the caption "Sorry for getting you so worried, Mom! I'm fine now, promise!"


She texted me after the ordeal was over that I owed my brother a car wash and a big thank you. Of course I responded "Uhhhh I'm pretty sure what I owe him is an ASS KICKING for making me panic and think my dog was gonna die!"
And we're both a little right.
So I texted him thank you and that Elle and I both appreciated it.

Apparently brother was quite freaked out by the whole ordeal... my mom said she walked in to the vet and he was sitting there white as a ghost and told her he changed his mind... he doesn't want a dog anymore. Ha.
So let this serve as a lesson to anyone who wants a dog - it's not all cuddly puppies! Sometimes they're adult dogs covered in shit. literally.

So, that's an update on what's been going on at Fabulous Headquarters in Dallas, Texas.

Thank you to everyone who offered encouragement on twitter and said little prayers for my Ellebaby... they are very much appreciated!

And now I'm off to the library.... PHEW.




*my brother and I received IDENTICAL grade school educations. Same teachers, same curriculum. My grammar/spelling is damn near perfect (obviously not always on the blog - I'm just getting thoughts out here), and his is downright atrocious. How is that possible? 

The Body is an amazing thing.

I've said it probably a million times... "My body hates me."
Usually I say it the day after a night of 10 vodka tonics, 2 shots of tequila, 2 shots of rumplemintz, and a visit to Taco Burrito House.

Lately my body hates me for a different reason.
I've been doing actual crossfit work outs for a couple of weeks now... I say "actual" because I'm not just doing my introduction class anymore... I have joined the "big kids" who can lift 5x more weight than me and don't have to modify pushups. It's scary out there!

I woke up this morning with plans to go in and do Monday's work out, which I missed, but I'm going to take today off, because MY BODY HATES ME.

I am so freaking sore.
Here's a lovely shot of my right leg:

It's weird because my body is almost ALWAYS covered with random cuts and bruises. But usually from being drunk and falling down and running in to shit. Or if I'm being honest, being sober and falling down and running in to shit. (Fabulous, I am. Graceful, I am not.)

But now my legs look like I'm the victim of an abusive spouse. And for that I can thank Crossfit. Specifically modified pushups (yep, still doin em on my knees)*, burpees, and the bruises on my shins are from banging them against the bar while doing dead lifts and snatches and other CrossFit type of stuff. I even have bruises on the tops of my feet. I can't even tell you what those are from.

So today, I'm taking a day off. I'm walking around like an old woman I'm so sore. I am putting my body through HELL. But for once, it feels GOOD.

I'm sorry body, but don't worry, you'll thank me in the end.


*(Oh and if anyone makes a joke about my knees being bruised for other reasons? I'll cut you.)

Rhett Butler sitting

While Daisy is gone to visit her family, The Namby Pamby and I have split up Rhett Butler-sitting duties.

I am proud to report that while RB wakes up at 5 AM on the dot every day it only took me 48 hours to break him of this habit. This AM I woke up to him kissing my lips (we are all about honesty here, right?) at 11:15 AM. HA! Sorry Daisy, you may have a hard time getting RB up before work tomorrow. I have molded him to my slothlike nocturnal ways. :)

Rhett Butler is so very sweet... he's also SO VERY NEEDY!
It's funny because he and Elle Woods have polar opposite personalities. But he's done very well considering he's in a weird place. I had a text from Kevin yesterday while I was at work that he and RB were snuggled in bed together taking a nap.

And I as I texted Daisy last night... I am pretty convinced that he has an eating disorder. He only eats at night after the lights are off and everyone has gone to bed. Classic sign of an eating disorder, right? (this is not unlike Elle... neither of them are big eaters. Very unlike their owners, ha!)

So here are some pics from our few days together...

Oh but first - anyone here with an iphone 4 HATE THIS? I'll turn the camera to face forward to take a pic of something. and then I'll open the camera to take a pic of the dog, hold it up to my face to look, and BAM

forgot the camera is still facing forward and I'm like AH because I'm staring my own mug in the face when I'm expecting to see a cute beagle! HA.
Sorry you had to see that. HA

Mr. Butler did a lot of sleeping while he was here....
Here he is snuggled up on my bed while I'm "studying" at my desk (aka tweeting and watching episodes of Say Yes to the Dress on netflix)

And then I thought he was just so cute that I should get an UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL pic. HA. (poor RB)

RB didn't JUST sleep while he was here. We also went on a couple walks through my neighborhood. And RB said "yup, snow sucks here, just like it does where I live."

And then RB napped some more while I studied. RB sez "barzm iz boring."
RB is correct.

And then we snuggled in bed. It was quite a nice change of pace to share the bed with such a little pup. I didn't have to shove him outta the way at all, like I have to do with Elle... although I have to confess I was a little bit worried I might roll over and smush him.
Oh and RB always gives bedtime kisses.

Oh and I think I got the "WOW! Elle sure did shrink!" comment approx. 47 times. Approximately. People sure are FUNNY! (eye roll)

Two Week Notice

Bar Exam is two weeks from tomorrow.


I have not yet had a full on meltdown. (Unless you count Friday afternoon at the post office. I had tears in my eyes. At the post office. And when the lady consulting with people in line to see if they could use the automated machine I MAY have snapped at her. But that's as close to a full on meltdown as I get). 


As per usual I'm pretty calm... a little too calm maybe? As in maybe I should FREAK OUT a little more so it would light a fire under my lazy ass? 
Eh, not my style.


It's only 2 weeks away. I feel like I still have 2 months worth of work to do. However, I've done a lot more this time than I did last time, which is good. I guess I am just going to bust my butt for the next 2 weeks and hope the extra I'm doing this time is enough to make up the gap and get a passing score. Who the hell knows.


Because if I don't pass this time?
Meltdown won't even begin to describe it. 

Black and Yellow

Don't really care too much about the Super Bowl. I'm (of course) a Cowboys fan and since the Cowboys had yet another lackluster year, the NFL postseason has been boring for me.
(My brother is going to the Super Bowl... wearing a Cowboys jersey. Attaboy!)

I have decided to cheer for the Steelers tonight. In addition to my love for the Wiz Khalifa song "Black and Yellow", I will be cheering for one of the greatest Illini in recent history, Rashard Mendenhall.

Although his departure from the Illinois football program was dramatic (mostly due to family drama with his younger brother Walter), he was one of the players that led the Illini to the 2007 Rose Bowl, so I cannot help but cheer for his continued success!

So GO ILLINI and GO STEELERS, and GO #341!

Own It

PSA -

Starting out an e-mail/letter/tweet/or blog post with "I'm not judging anyone, but..."

is basically code for "Here's where I go off judging people but don't hold me accountable and I'd like to assuage my guilt for being judgmental when I claim not to be"

Just own it.

no moar puhleez

SnOwMG!

As I'm sure you've heard by now, we had a blizzard here in Chicago over the last 24 hours.  Duh.

I'll admit I was skeptical and didn't think it was going to be as bad as they said, but it definitely was. If you followed me on twitter you saw me updating the plight of my dear friend Brad, who spent over FOUR HOURS on the bus to go the 5.4 miles from his office to home via Lake Shore Drive. (as of 3 PM on Wednesday, Lake Shore Drive is STILL closed)

I am just praising Jesus (and my Catholic Saint-fearing Mary, as my dear friend EKM would say) that I was not on that bus. Brad works in the building across the street from my work and lives in the high rise next door to mine, so we frequently take the bus home together. So, THANK GOD I did not work yesterday and did not have to deal with this insanity. I would have LOST IT.

Our friend Kyle was on a bus that was behind Brad's bus and he had it even worse. Seriously... NIGHTMARE.

Here is a pic of Kyle's bus, from the Chicago Tribune, along with an article about their ordeal.

And the article.

HELL, right?

But thank God our friends have a good sense of humor about everything, right?

And I had to include this one because it made me die laughing.

Work it Snow Bunnies!

(no worries, I have been inside and have no plans to go anywhere til tomorrow! CrossFit is closed for tonight and that was the only thing I was going to do anyway!)

New Blog Design!

Howdy readers! If you're reading this in google reader, click on over and check out my new blog design! 


Angelina came up with this fun little design for me from scratch and I think she did a pretty good job of capturing what the blog is about, especially for someone who doesn't know me! 


She was super easy to work with and sent me several original ideas that she had come up with, so the bloggy doesn't look like every other blog out there on the interwebz.


If you'd like for Angelina to come up with a new look for your blog, here is her pricing and contact info:

total blog makeover: $50
header: $30
other changes (work with ARG for design) $10.

And a special deal for my fabulous readers! Mention LF10 and get $10 off your first blog redo for the month of February!

Her e-mail is  arossieg@gmail.com 


She is working on getting a blog started up to feature her designs but until that's up and running - here is her portfolio with all of her other awesome work!  arossieg.com 




Thanks SO much Angelina, I love it!

Tuesday Tunes - New Workout Playlist!

I haven't blogged a new workout playlist in a while and got some requests for some new music.

So here's what I've been jamming to lately while at the gym/getting ready to rage.

And sharing this one (it's on the playlist) because it's my favorite jam of the moment... I'm obsesssssedddddddd





Any new suggestions for me? Always looking for good music to add to the playlist!