Today, April 30th, is the last day of what has been the worst month of one of the very worst years of my relatively short life.... as tomorrow is my birthday.
One year ago I sat at my 25th birthday dinner with my lovely friends and when it was time to "make a wish", I couldn't even think of anything to wish. I was happy, surrounded by people I love, and getting ready to graduate from law school, take and pass the bar exam, and start the career I'd been waiting my entire life to start.
My how things change.
Tonight I'm going to dinner with Dr. J and roommate Kevin. There will be no wishes, because it would probably take me 27 hours to get through a list of things I wish for my 26th year of life.
I'm also not dare going to say "things can only get better from here, right?!", because every time I say that something really shitty happens, and I'm afraid of what could be next.
Tomorrow I'm doing a birthday brunch and Sunday Funday with a group of friends.
So I will eat a lot of food, drink a lot of drinks, and enjoy the time with some of the people I love, and be SO very glad that I made it through this year alive. It was questionable at times.
Also - wow. I have an incredible skill that allows me to make a post about my birthday depressing.
In summary - PEACE OUT April. Not sad to see you go.
Sometimes being able to say "I survived it" is saying a lot. I'll wish some happy things for you!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!!!
ReplyDeleteI look forward to celebrating all the GOOD in year 26 with you. Possibly with a lot of cocktails. Ok fine, a lot of cocktails.
ReplyDeleteHey, we have the same birthday! I'll be 28 though, which is terrifying for many reasons. But I just wanted to say that I know what you're going through - 2010 for me was what 2011 is for you. It's a long story but it involves a wedding, the bar, and $60,000 worth of water damage, so if you don't want to say things will get better, I will say for it for you. IT WILL GET BETTER and you will be a better person for it. It's cliche but it's true. I hope you have a great birthday with your friends and that 26 is your best year yet.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Amanda. Sometimes the best thing you can say about any situation or year of life is that you survived it. It will get better LF. Living through it until it does is the hard part - lean on your friends, journal if you're into that, keep writing your blog, get some exercise. Keep putting one foot in front of the other until you feel more balanced. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday! Know that this will be a better year for you. You'll look back on the hard times someday and say 'Gotcha, B*tch!' when you're riding high on life. :)
ReplyDeleteJust so you know, you're not alone. I'm also a 26 year old May 2010 grad who failed the bar both in July 2010 and February 2011. I also had my Mom pass away after a 3.5 year battle with cancer in December 2010. We just have to realize that there are better things for us on the horizon. As Conan O'Brien said after he lost his Tonight Show gig at NBC, "If you work very hard, and are kind, amazing things will happen."
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to you in your 26th year, and happy birthday!
Happy Birthday LF!!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy happy birthday!!! Celebrate big!
ReplyDeleteHappy Happy Birthday!!
ReplyDeleteWell, at least you can look upon this birthday as a time to move forward and put everything behind you. Kicking the bar exam's ass this time is going to be so much sweeter than had you done it the first time, and you're going to appreciate being a lawyer more than the assholes who may be able to ace a standardized test, but neglect their clients and generally suck in practice.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday LF!!
ReplyDeleteThat is exactly how I felt on my 20th birthday since my 19th year of life featured leaving my dream school for my long term boyfriend, long term boyfriend breaking up with me and informing me he was gay, and then receiving a rejection letter from the school program I had been hoping to get into. What a mess.
Hope you have a wonderful birthday & that your 26th year brings with it much happier memories!
Happy Birthday! At least you can be happy knowing that a new month is starting and you can begin again. I think that's why I enjoy the first few days of a month. : )
ReplyDeleteSeriously, April was such an asshole. I'm glad to see it go too. Happy Birthday and I think what we both need is more drinking time together. Cheers.
ReplyDelete