Pisspants

Elle Woods has been a mess lately... I've blogged a bit about it but if you follow me on twitter you know that one of the AWFUL side effects from the Predisone she's been on since July has been two-fold... she would drink Lake Michigan in its entirety if I let her because she's so thirsty, and the steroids make her lose control of her bladder so she pees in her sleep. Everywhere.

Also? She (sometimes) sleeps with me.

I've figured it out for the most part when she's going to pee in her sleep based on when her last dosage of steroids was and on those days I make her sleep on her bed on the floor... but we've still had some accidents. As my roommate so lovingly calls them... she gives me golden showers.

And let me tell you, when a great dane pisses the bed... it's not a little wet spot. It's like a drunk frat boy soak through the entire bed. Or her bed. Or the floor. Or wherever.

I picked her up from boarding today, and I she promptly came home, passed out on top of one of my sweatshirts that was on the floor (another reason I don't give my mom my blog address... her immediate response would be "why is your sweatshirt on the floor? hang it up!"), and pissed all over it and the floor.
F.
M.
L.

Today I wasn't really that upset about it, but I have definitely shed quite a bit of tears due to having to wash sheets in the middle of the night so I can go back to bed... including three days before the bar exam. In the middle of the night. Yes I was just down in my laundry room in the basement of my building SOBBING at 3 AM while reviewing flashcards. (sidenote - let's blame THIS on why I failed... not the fact that I spent the entire month of June and the first week of July drinking my face off instead of studying. k?) But this is why she is going home to my parents house for Christmas and staying there until after I take the bar exam at the end of February... I just can't deal with this nonsense again.

Oh and she also pissed on my friend Lindsey when they were napping together on my couch last weekend. Sorry Lindsey. :(

So of course when she did this I tweeted it (because duh, I tweet everything), and my friend Tim responded a few hours later with this....

And I almost peed on myself because I was laughing so hard.

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. My friends are hilarious.

Las Vegas... the outfits

I purchased several new dresses for Vegas... and since I know that's everyone's favorite thing to read about.... here are pics of the dresses I brought to Vegas with me.
(I'm scheduling this post ahead of time, so no idea which ones I'll actually end up wearing)

(all images and dresses from Nordstrom.com)

Viva Las Vegas!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

While you guys are all enjoying traditional thanksgiving feasts -

I'll be enjoying a non-traditional Thanksgiving holiday...

Instead of turkey we'll be having steak and martinis(sssss), which is just fine with me. I don't even really care for turkey.
I am meeting my parents and my brother in Vegas this afternoon, and my parents good friends are already there. The boys will golf, the girls will go to the spa, and we'll all eat and gamble. Not sure if my brother and I will be going out at all, but knowing us, chances are pretty good.

And Saturday night we have tickets to see Pretty Lights at the House of Blues!

Nothing says relaxing thanksgiving with the family like Pretty Lights! 

p.s. if you don't know who Pretty Lights is, you're missing out...  this is one of my favorite songs!

Anyone else having an unconventional Turkey Day, or just my wild and Fabulous family?

The "fabulous" life of a single gal... and my adventures in dating.

So it's no secret that my life has been a struggle as of late... things have been pretty shitty. Between failing the bar, being underemployed and broke, feeling lost about where I want to live (I am taking the Illinois bar again in February but I've been having major regrets about that decision... and I'm never someone who has a hard time making a decision), etc etc etc., things are kinda rough. I'll be the first to admit that I've been down in the dumps. And if you follow me on twitter you've witnessed some of it... although I've tried to keep it off twitter for the most part since no one likes someone who bitches all the time.

It's also no secret that I've been single for a loooong time... almost four years to be exact.  I've met a couple guys in the meantime, but nothing serious has ever happened. Like I'm not joking when I say I've been SINGLE for four years... and for the most part I've actually been fine with it. Sometimes I get lonely, but the fact that I have no drama in my life due to a dumb boy is also really nice.

I'm not even going to get in to the deets of the ex... what's in the past is in the past. It definitely still hurts sometimes, but I'm really over it.

So here's where I write about my recent adventures in dating.

I told you guys about how I joined eharmony. I actually never ended up going on a date with anyone from eharmony because all of my matches were SO AWFUL. I am seriously SO glad that that 3 month subscription is over so I don't get any more depressing e-mails of the 22 year old 5'6" tall guys who live in the suburbs with their parents. Kill me.

So for the gazillionth time in the last 4 years, I had given up on dating. And then I met a guy (who I called "the dude") about a month ago.  I actually even blogged about how I met someone and he seemed totally great. In all honesty - perfect on paper. We hung out a few times and had a great time together. He was both and tall and made me laugh a lot which are my two biggest things. He's Catholic and goes to church, has a pretty good job, and is tall. I mean seriously... that's like everything I care about right there... and then I just stopped hearing from him. Nothing happened, which is fine, because HELLO we were not dating so it's not like we needed to have a breakup conversation. And it's SO NOT LIKE ME to get so upset about something like that... but I definitely did. I am ashamed and embarrassed to admit that I was that dumb girl that shed tears over someone I barely knew. Hello... I DON'T CRY! And seriously... we weren't dating... get over it! I know my friends were so sick of hearing about him. And twitter too (sorry guys!).

I swore after how devastated I was after the ex and I broke up that I would never be that way about a guy again. And obviously it's not as bad... actually not bad at all in comparison, but it effected me way more than I thought it would.

And after this disappointment with the dude that I actually liked and who apparently didn't like me, I don't even know anymore. I know everyone says that it happens when you least expect it... but honestly, I don't even WANT to date anymore. Because I figure I have two options... I either am kind of lonely but mostly fine, or I'm freaking out about some random guy and "why hasn't he called me? Does he like me?"
HOW ANNOYING IS THAT?!!?! It's so annoying. I hate being that girl.
I.hate.dating. It.sucks. But I also feel like I'm really ready to be with someone. But this beginning stages of dating? Some people say it's exciting. It's not.

So of course after things sort of fell apart with the dude, I said I wasn't dating anymore.... and then, last night, I did.
I went on a blind date.
It was fine. Not wonderful, not awful. It was whatever. I don't think I'll hear from him again, and that's fine.

But still... dating sucks.

So those of you who are single and wading the dating waters? I feel you.
And those of you who are married or have significant others? Consider yourselves very lucky.

Deck the Halls!

On Monday night Kevin and I had a few friends over to decorate the Christmas tree. I know November 15 is early to put the tree up, but this weekend is going to be crazy with the Illinois football game at Wrigley Field (I'm having a big party before the game over here) and then a couple days after that I leave for Vegas, and I don't get back from Vegas until Sunday at midnight, so I figure by the time I recover from Vegas (if I ever do!) it's going to be the middle of December. 

So we're celebrating early around here! 

We put out some goodies for everyone to enjoy:

And had our friends come over with their crafting supplies for homemade ornaments to add to the tree!

Here's a pic of Brad hard at work on his ornament

While everyone was crafting I put the tree together

The first of the crafters and their ornaments with the tree - finished and with ribbon but no ornaments yet!

Brad, Kevin, Nate and their ornaments

I think Nate's ornament is my favorite. He said he is not crafty so he traced his hand and wrote his name on it. It makes me die laughing every time I see it. 

Brad made a replica of Avery, his devil cat. 

And Kevin cut out this picture of Abigail, Selena Gomez, and Taylor Swift from a magazine and made them into a tree

Then Tim made a hilarious ornament which we ended up using as the tree topper. He took a pic of our tranny friend Saya (Antoine Dodson from Halloween) and put a Santa hat on her. So freaking funny. 

Scott made a snowman head 

Byron made a snowman... and no he did not try to make it look like that,

which is what makes it even better

Brian just got creative with a regular ornament

And OF COURSE there's a special spot for Chief Illiniwek on the tree!

And the final tree! It looks mored red in pictures than it is in real life. 

It is most definitely HOT pink! (duh)

and I had to share this because it's SO funny... Kevin has a friend who lives 2 floors above us.... he sent us this picture the night we put the tree up. If you look closely (zoom in) you can see Elle on the loveseat and a couple people sitting on the couch... and my blonde head sitting on the floor next to the couch. So funny.

Ho Ho Ho!

Christmas List Lusting

Having a much better day today... the fact that I'm making my Christmas list helps. I'm asking for relatively cheap/useful stuff this year... money is much tighter than normal for the Fabulous Parentals (my dad hasn't had a paycheck in 2 years... ouch), so nothing big... I would love a grill pan since I don't have an outdoor space/grill and love to grill steaks. Also Kate Spade has a ton of cute earrings that I'd love that are under 50 bucks....

These Betsy Johnson bow earrings

And this kate spade bow ring

But if this wasn't a recession Christmas, these babies would be numero uno on my list:

Valentino 

SWOOOOOON

Anything good on your list this year?

*(all images via Nordstrom)

My life in TV quotes, continued

"She's a classic narcissist. I mean nobody is more fun at a party, but they're incurable. 

And you should never, ever get in a relationship with one."

- Brothers and Sisters

 

I've been totally uninspired on the blogging front as of late... life is in a slump. Buuut these TV quotes are making me laugh because they remind me of me. Maybe this one is a little on the extreme.... but mayyyybe not. 

One of my favorites (also from Brothers and Sisters) is a couple years old and has been on my facebook profile for a looong time... I don't even remember which character said it to whom, but it was

 "You can't put your happiness on hold."

I have spent a whooooole lot of my life thus far putting my happiness on hold. Thinking things will get better after high school, or college, or law school, or when I meet someone, or when I get a job, or whatever the hell else it is that's making me miserable at the time and blah blah blah.... it's time to STOP. And be happy NOW. I have completely failed at this lately. And been far from happy. 

So now it's time to be happy for today. There are PLENTY of things for me to wallow about right now... and so tonight? I wallow. I drink wine in sweatpants and go to bed at 9 PM. 

But tomorrow? I wake up and I take my happiness off hold. There is also a lot to be happy about. 

Lazy Saturday

Lazy Saturday over here... I think I might be getting sick, there are lots of good football games on TV, and it's rainy and crappy outside.

There's a whole lot of this going on:

And in case you were wondering if this is just an Elle thing, after I texted my mom that pic she responded with this pic of Satin t my parents house in Dallas:

In my next life I want to come back as my dog.

Updates

Just a couple updates on life as of late...

Michigan this weekend was a blast. Illinois ended up losing 67-65 in TRIPLE overtime. The game was NUTS. Obviously I wish we had won, but it was a crazy game to see!

Thoughts on the Big House - pretty disappointing. I had no idea that 100,000 people could be so quiet. It never really got loud in there until the second overtime.
We drank a lot and went to some campus bars and partied like college kids... always a good time.

- I haven't blogged about this in a while, but my mom is officially DONEZO with Chemo, yay! She got her port out last week, and her hair is growing back. They will keep checking her regularly, but we have high hopes that we're done FOREVER!

- The Dude I met a couple weeks ago... we are supposed to get lunch this week. Dating is complicated and annoying. I hate it. Seriously... I would almost rather just be alone than deal with the annoying "does he like me? does he not? why hasn't he called?" etc etc etc. It's exhausting.

- Work is still going well. I like it a lot, just wish I was working more and getting paid more. I am broke broke broke and it SUCKS.

- 2.5 weeks til Vegas!!! Definitely time to stop skipping the gym and get it together!

Okay, I think that's it for me... I am terrible about posting about something and then not following up.

Heading North for some FOOTBALL

So 8 guys and a girl hop on an Amtrak headed for Ann Arbor...


The punchline of the joke is totally coming... Monday.

As I've mentioned before (now that I think about it, I'm actually not sure if I've mentioned it before), I'm heading to Ann Arbor, Michigan, for the weekend to watch my Fighting Illini take on the Michigan Wolverines.

I have never been to THE BIG HOUSE before, so I'm super excited.

I am so excited to go to a game at The Big House... football games at Illinois are fun, but our stadium is small (capacity is about 60,000 and most games don't have near that much), so it's fun to see games at schools where football is HUGE (the same group that I'm going to Michigan with went to Columbus for the Ohio State game last year, and I've visited my brother a couple times and seen Arkansas games). I know everyone raves about how great SEC games are, but we had a seriously great time in Columbus.... and I'm anticipating nothing less in Ann Arbor!

Oh now back to the beginning of the story... so, it's 8 guys and me. But 8 straight guys. SEE?!?! I DO HAVE STRAIGHT GUY FRIENDS!!! And I even have girlfriends!

Oh and yes, we're taking the Amtrak. Fingers crossed no one gets kicked off and stranded somewhere between Chicago and Ann Arbor! Ha

Hoping for at least a good game... if not an Illinois victory!
Our redshirt freshman quarterback Nathan Scheelhaase has been looking GOOD lately!

Hopefully we all come back in one piece and don't freeze to death! I had a hell of a time trying to pack last night.... It's supposed to be 45 degrees and sunny on Saturday. Not cold enough for my big puffy coat (which would be a pain in the ass to pack anyway), but definitely cold enough to require a gazillion layers.

I-L-L!

Here She Is... Miss America

Here we have it... the much anticipated pictures from Halloween!!!

It was SO hilarious and a lot of fun.

I wish I had more pictures from the getting ready process (which took FOUR HOURS!!!), but since I basically spent the whole time doing everyones makeup, I wasn't able to take any pics (except this one I snapped of Miss Louisiana while I was putting her eyelashes on!)

Uhhh... Scary good looking, right?! He actually looked EXACTLY like his sisters once he put his wig on. It was SO funny. (oh and Kevin did his makeup... I think Kevin has a future career as a makeup artist!)

Also - I've done something I said I'd never do... I'm posting pics of myself on my blog. There are just too many hilarious pics from Saturday night to not include me.

So now, without further ado...

Miss America Contestants 2010!

The midwestern contestants....

The Southern belles... Miss Georgia, Miss Louisiana, Miss Alabama, and Miss Texas

Yours Truly... Miss Texas

Miss Ohio

Miss Alabama

Miss Wisconsin

Miss Georgia, who you saw previewed last week! hahaha

Miss Louisiana

Miss Wisconsin #2

Miss Indiana

Miss Indiana #2

And I just had to include this picture... Kevin's boyfriend went as Lady Gaga...

And omg... he should dress as a woman more often. 

(and seriously... check out those boots. if we wore the same size I would have stolen them off of his feet!)

And I had to share this one... the best picture of the night. This is my friend Saya. Saya is a man, who usually dresses like a woman. (She calls herself a tranny, we call her a tranny.... I am pretty sure that's not the politically correct term but I really couldn't tell you what IS the politically correct term, so whatever... she's a tranny.)

Saya on a regular day....

Well, what does a man who usually dresses up as a woman dress up as for Halloween? 

OBVIOUSLY.

Antoine Dodson and Miss Texas

So... are the pictures everything you hoped they'd be and more?! hahaha