Let's talk about the weather...

So I get asked about the weather a lot. Not because I'm a meteorologist (although I did do the weather report for my broadcast journalism class newscast in college, and let me tell you, that shit is tricky), but because I live in Chicago. It gets cold in Chicago. Ass bitin' cold, as my mother would say.

This weekend Katherine and her friend Chelsea came to Chicago to visit, and of course they both asked me the inevitable question that I get asked all the time from family and friends in states located south of the Mason-Dixon line where 12 inches of snow in 24 hours is unheard of and sub-zero is used to refer only to a refrigerator, not the temperature -

"How do you deal with the winters?"

So I told them what I deal everyone.... You just deal with it. Yeah, it's really freaking cold in January and February. And I totally bitch about it. 

January and February aren't even the worst months though... I honestly think March-May are the three worst months weather-wise in Chicago. The snow isn't pretty anymore. It's supposed to be spring, but it's still snowing. And freezing. And miserable. And if I have to put my snow boots on to take the dog out one more damn time I'm going to lose it. 

And good God do I hate getting bundled up, freezing my ass off waiting for the bus, and then getting on a packed bus to stand and sweat my ass off because it's crowded and I'm wearing a giant coat and the heat is blasting 8 gazillion degrees. 

But days like this past Saturday totally make up for it. And when you guys down South were huddled up inside because it's just too damn hot to do anything outside, I was basking in the glory of Chicago summer. 

(sorry, just had to include this pic because my friend/the guy whose boat I was on is really good looking

 and I know many of you can appreciate that. ha)

And when it's 85 degree and you're on a boat Lake Michigan with the city skyline in the background? Those winter days are nothing but a distant memory. 

Breaking News

Dear AP Mobile app for iPhone,

We need to discuss your definition of breaking news.
I currently allow your application to send me notifications when breaking news happens. This means when something BIG happens, my phone gives me a text message style alert, complete with noise and vibration, no matter the time of day. Examples of BIG breaking news - natural disasters, plane crashes, terrorist attacks, deaths of world leaders, etc. Even announcements of major pop culture events are acceptable. Michael Jackson died? Send me a notification! The University of Illinois Fighting Illini win a BCS bowl game?(HA HA HA!) Notification!!!

The fact that Paris Hilton got arrested for having a little bit of coke on her in Vegas?!?! NOT BREAKING NEWS!!!
There is absolutely no reason to wake me from my slumber at 3AM to tell me that Paris Hilton is doing blow. Please remedy this.

Sincerely,
Legally Fabulous

P.S. - before we start hearing cries of "she needs rehab!" - everyone chill the hell out. A little bit of cocaine does not a drug addict make. The drug laws in this country are totally antiquated. Just like everyone who likes to drink does not need AA, not everyone who uses drugs needs a stint in rehab.

Workout Wednesday - Workout Gear Post!

I'm bored of my normal "I ran three miles, my knee hurt/didn't hurt, I was cranky the whole time I was running, but then I was glad I did it once it was over" posts, so I'm going to do something TOTALLY original. I'm going to blog about my favorite workout gear. I know that NO blogger has EVER talked about Nike Tempo shorts and lululemon yoga pants before, so I'm going to delve into this uncharted territory myself.

So first up - my favorite running shoes. I hesitate to even talk about running shoes because seriously, everyone's feet are so different and you really shouldn't care what anyone else wears on your feet. Go get fitted and figure out what works for you! That being said - I am going to discuss them because just in case any running industry people read this, I have a question for you... WHY do all good running shoes only come in blue?! I don't particularly mind blue, but I don't particularly love it either. And the fact that the men's shoes are a royal blue and women's are the exact same but a baby blue? Wtf is that all about? Obviously you're making shoes for women... so how about we get some options? Maybe I want yellow. Or red. Or PINK! It's not important and has nothing to do with the shoe itself, but I like pink.

Oh - so here are my current running shoes -

Brooks Adrenaline GTS 10. In a women's size 12 wide. Because I have enormous feet. I love them (the shoes that is. I'm not particularly fond of my flippers). I just wish I could have picked a color other than baby blue.

Since I already mentioned Nike Tempo shorts, I feel like I should discuss them.

I like them. I have several pairs, in a bunch of different colors. They are my summer uniform with flip flops and a t-shirt. They're cute and comfortable. But you know what I don't like them for? Doing any sort of physical activity other than walking around Target.
For working out? I hate shorts. HATE HATE HATE shorts!
I've also noticed that every person that raves about running in Tempos is a size 0 or 2, which is probably why I hate them. I am not a size 2. I hate working out in shorts that aren't long mesh basketball type shorts that are totally not cute, because they totally ride up. My thighs? They are not 2 inches apart like this models thighs. The whole time I work out in shorts I'm trying to adjust them. NOT cute. Or comfortable.

So, what DO I like working out in? I am a devoted Nike fan. I own approximately 8 gazillion pairs of Nike pants/capris/running tights. My current favorite?

I purchased these Nike Tech Running Capris from Nordstrom. I have two pairs in pink and one in blue and I love them. The best place to buy Nike pants though? Nike outlets. You can get them for significantly cheaper than sporting goods stores and the product hardly changes from year to year.

I did just purchase these shorts from Lululemon which I do love. But this is as short as anything I'm wearing is getting.

They're perfect for running, elliptical, weight-lifting, yoga, etc. Kinda pricey, as is all Lululemon, but I think they hold up really well and are a good investment.

I also own a pair of the Lululemon Wunder Under pants.

I like them, but to be honest they're not my favorite. I think they're a little too thick for working out in, and so expensive. I actually think they're better for wearing with tunics/dresses, etc. as regular old leggings.
I much prefer Nike running tights, which aren't nearly as thick and I think breathe a little better.

As for tops? I usually just stick with whatever t-shirt is on the top of my t-shirt drawer. I have a nice rotation of booze t-shirts that I like to work in that I've gotten free from bars, my roommate, baseball games, etc. Nothing says "I'm serious about working hard in the gym!" like an Absolut Vodka t-shirt.

Oh and my favorite water bottle for the gym (which is NOT my favorite for outside of the gym because of the sweat factor).

Camelbak with bite valve (which I always purchase on Amazon) is perfect for the gym because you can get a drink without having to stop the treadmill/elliptical/stairmaster and it won't spill all over you. I have several and love them.

So there you have it, my gym gear. Anything wonderful and life-changing that I'm missing out on?!

Interview Day!

Happy Interview Day everyone!
Exciting news - I actually have TWO interviews today, yay!


Neither of them are for permanent positions, but either would be great and get me some money and experience while I keep searching for a permanent gig.

Now for the most important thing - the outfit! Duh.
I totally lucked out having both of my interviews on the same day, so I'll only have to get all gussied up once.

I couldn't find a picture of the skirt but obviously it matches the jacket (I bought the pants that go with the jacket too, but am wearing the skirt for the interview. It's a plain knee length pencil skirt). The suit is Halogen from Nordstrom, purchased about 6 months ago. I'm wearing it with a white button down shirt.  Shoes are Linea Paolo from Nordstrom (noticing a pattern?) - black kitten heels. And pearl earrings and a pearl necklace.
Simple but not a totally boring black suit.

I will report back and let you know how the interviews go!

In the market for a new bag...

I remember the summer before law school, three looooong years ago, I had two main anxieties about going to law school/moving to Chicago/ becoming a semi-adult. The first was finding a place to live (because my dad contacted a realtor in Chicago, gave him a budget, and told me to fly to Chicago and buy a house. By myself. Ummm WTF.), and the second was finding the perfect law school appropriate handbag.
Yeah, not "OMG how will I ever do all the reading" or "what in God's name is a tort". Nope, I was super concerned about finding just the right bag to lug my laptop and books in. Does that shock anyone? Ha.

And for those who are wondering - I did finally find the perfect bag.

Louis Vuitton Saleya MM 

I carried this bag every day for 3 years. It has held up WONDERFULLY, and is a great size . But it is time for something new... something that doesn't scream "I have lots of money and don't need this job!" in a job interview the way a giant logoed LV does (even though that is soooo not the case, I don't want to give that impression).


So, I'm in the market for a new bag. Well... I suppose I should say that I'm "in the market" for a new bag, because we all know that I'm unemployed, so a new handbag isn't quite in the budget at the moment. But it will be soon.

I am having a hard time finding something that isn't covered in studs/tassles/logos and that is structured enough so that it doesn't slump over and smush all your papers when you set it down. 


So lady lawyers and other professional types - what do you carry? My LV served me well and I love it, I just want something non-logoed for every day. Preferably black, but brown is not a dealbreaker. It has to zip or have a flap that closes, so papers and computers don't get wet walking to the bus in the rain and so my stuff doesn't get snatched out by a bum if I decide to doze off and take a little nap during the commute to the job I hope to have someday soon. Pockets are good. I like pockets.
Oh and I hate Coach. So preferably not Coach.

(p.s. Dear LV - how about you just make the Saleya MM in plain black? That would be perfect. Thanks)

Oh baby baby

Too funny not to share...
This is my friend Mike as we were driving him to the airport today... God love him.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Interview!!!

If you follow me on Twitter, you already know the exciting news:

YAY!

Now for a little more info...

A couple of weeks ago I got an e-mail from a friend who I went to UofI with and who is an attorney (graduated from a Chicago law school last year). His boss's husband, who is an attorney but no longer practicing, was looking to hire a recent law school grad, preferably with a background in finance, for a temporary position. They were preferably looking for someone with a finance background. 

He knew nothing else about the position other than the guy is really nice, if you're not an idiot they can teach you what you need to know, and he thought it would be well-compensated.

Despite the fact that the only background I have in finance is that I really really like money, I sent my resume to the guy. And today I got an e-mail back that they want to interview me!

Of course the friend who sent me the e-mail about the job is the ex-boyfriend (very recent breakup) of a good friend and sorority sister (and blog reader! Hey!). So I e-mailed her yesterday afternoon:

"So I have an interview Tuesday for a position that [ex-boyfriend] sent me an email about. 

I promise to go back to hating him after that though. :)"

She replied:

"Hahaha no worries, loyalties are fluid in this job market!!  

I'd take a job recommendation from Osama Bin Ladin if I were you.  GOOD LUCK!!"

Now that is a good friend. 

 

So now I'm ready for the most crucial part of interview prep... the perfect outfit! Obviously I'll keep ya'll posted on what I decide to wear. Oh, and how the interview goes. Of course. 

Work Out Wednesday

First of all - thanks everyone for the suggestions for the family vacation!
I've passed them all on to my mom and am letting her do some research and make a decision.

Now - work out Wednesday.

.....

Ugh.

Yep, that pretty much sums up every aspect of my freaking life these days, gym included.

I've pretty much decided that I'm not running the half marathon. Between my knee being injured for a couple weeks and the bar exam, I just didn't train the way I should have. And to be honest, I just don't think that I can ever run a half marathon. Even if my knees were perfect and I stuck to a regular schedule.
It's totally all mental. I just crap out after 5 miles.

So ya know what? I'm not going to worry about it.
I'm sort of disappointed in myself, but whatever. I was seriously stressing out about all of this. And really? I signed up for this FOR FUN. My new life policy is if it's supposed to be fun, and it isn't, I QUIT. The end. No need for getting stressed out about things that are supposed to be fun. I've got too many things that I have to ACTUALLY stress out about to deal with that. So half marathon? You are stressing me out. And therefore I QUIT YOU.

They still have a 5k on the morning of the half marathon. I'm gonna run the 5k, and just aim for running it a minute or so faster than my "fastest" 5k time (I say "fastest" because my personal best for a 5k is 33:30. No one would call that fast.). So I'm gonna aim for finishing in 32 minutes and 30 seconds. Not a speed demon, but totally respectable. And then I will cheer for my friends who are running the half (including my Aunt who is coming in from D.C. to run it and girlfriends coming in from Dallas), and then after we will all drink together.

So I failed at the half marathon goal. Whatever. Life will go on.

Oh and this weeks workouts, for those of you who care:
Wednesday: 3 miles on the treadmill, 20 minutes elliptical

Thursday: 3 miles on the treadmill, 20 minutes arc trainer

Monday: 3.25 miles outside, 10 minutes elliptical

Tuesday: 2.5 miles in 30 minutes on the treadmill, 25 minutes on the arc trainer, 10 minutes on the bike

It felt good to get back into the gym after a couple of weeks of slothing around post bar exam. This weeks goal is to get back into a weight training routine and get rid of the 8 (yes EIGHT) pounds I've packed on in the last three weeks. (Dear God has it only been three weeks since the bar exam? I feel like it was three years ago. I blocked the whole thing out like a PTSD victim).

Family Vacation

The Fabulous Family is looking to book a vacation for Thanksgiving this year.
Every year we always go to my grandmother's house in East Texas (Tyler, to be exact), where my mom grew up (except 2003, because my mom had just had her first of several cancer surgeries and couldn't be in the car to drive out there).
Since my grandmother just died last month and we won't be going to Tyler for the first time ever, my mom wants to plan a family vacation for the four of us (mom, dad, me, 23 year old brother).

We want to do something quick (Wednesday-Sundayish), so Hawaii/Europe is out (I don't like Europe anyway), but we are having a hard time coming up with ideas.

My brother suggested Vegas, but I don't want to do Vegas because I'm unemployed and broke so I have no desire to go somewhere where all you do is gamble and shop and go to nightclubs because yeah, I have no money.
My mom suggested Napa possibly, which sounds alright to me.
Our last family vacation was to the Caymans, so we'd prefer not to repeat.
We've done Mexico a gazillion times before, but we always stay at resorts, so I suggested maybe doing something different and getting a villa instead of a hotel.

So - suggestions for vacation spots for the fam? (and keep in mind my parents like to drink just as much as I do so pretty much anywhere goes). And if you've done Mexico villas before - please share the website and let me know about your experience!

Hide yo 8-balls

I just received this text from my roommate and I can't stop laughing:

"Hide yo 8-balls, 

hide yo vials of back alley collagen, 

hide yo key to the booze cabinet, 

and hide yo everything, 

because Lindsay Lohan's cage at UCLA Neuropsychiatric Hospital

might be opened sometime this week."

Reeeeeeeeejected

Welp, it finally happened.
I checked the mail on Friday and received the first rejection letter from a resume I sent out.

I sent a resume and wonderfully written cover letter to an office that had not advertised a position.  Although I had heard that they were possibly hiring, apparently they aren't (at least according to the rejection letter).
And besides, even if they were hiring, there are just so many graduates looking for jobs right now. So I'm neither shocked nor devastated by the rejection, that's just how it goes. 

And actually, it's kind of nice to receive an actual rejection letter (who woulda thought?!). Most firms/offices don't even bother rejecting you (at least in my little experience)... they just leave you to wonder if they ever even received your cover letter that you spent time crafting for them. (By the way - how annoying is that? At least let me know you're rejecting me instead of leaving me to wonder if I addressed the envelope wrong and you never even saw the resume/cover letter that looks exactly like the hundreds of other resumes/cover letters you're receiving).

Today is a new day, and a new week, so there's no time to dwell on past rejections... only looking forward! I know it will all work out and something will come up... I just wish it would be sooner rather than later!

PSA

 Here's a little PSA/ Pre-school lesson for the general public:

This is a HORSE.

Horses say "NEIGHHHHH!"



 This is a DOG.

DOGS say "Woof! Woof!"


Please refrain from making a "whoa! Didn't know they allowed horses in the city/this building/at the dog park"* "joke". Note I say "joke" because jokes are generally funny. Calling my DOG a HORSE is not funny. And I hear it EVERY.DAMN.DAY.

If you're going to make a joke about how big she is (by the way - she's small for a Great Dane), at least be original.
And don't be offended when I don't even pretend to think your joke is funny. It isn't.

XOXO,
Legally Fabulous

*see also:
- "how much does that thing eat?!" (not that much)
- "who walks who?" (I walk her. She is my dog. I am her owner. I am in charge. Unlike your little piece of shit yappy dog who pulls the whole time it's on the leash)
- "you entering him in the derby this year?!" (No. SHE is a dog.)
- "did you know she was gonna get that big?" (no. When she was an 18 pound 8 week old puppy I thought she would stay that size forever)
- etc.

All About Me

So, who is Legally Fabulous?

I’ve been meaning to write an “about me” post for a while. And now that I’ve found myself with all sorts of free time (just one of the many benefits of unemployment. Along with having 19 dollars in my checking account), here it is.

I started blogging a couple of years ago. For a long time I had pretty much no readers. Over the last year my readership has increased a lot. I’m definitely not a big time blogger but thanks to links from Above the Law and friendships formed on Twitter, I’ve got some regular readers. And apparently with regular readers comes curiosity. My google analytics tells me that one of the top google searches leading to my blog is “who is Legally Fabulous.” I don’t really know if I should be creeped out or flattered that people are out there googling around trying to figure out who I really am.

I am a May 2010 law school graduate. I live in Chicago with my 3 year old Great Dane, Elle Woods, and my little gay roommate Kevin. A lot of my “real life” friends are gay men… it’s not really on purpose, just sort of happened that way. So as a result I go out in Boystown (the gay area of Chicago for you non-Chicagoans) a lot. And at least five times a week I get told that I will never find a boyfriend if I keep going to gay bars. I get told this by twitter people, real life people, and my mother. If you want me to think you’re a clueless idiot, tell me that I don’t have a boyfriend because I go to gay bars.

I am currently unemployed, broke, job searching, and waiting for the results of the July 2010 Illinois bar exam. Feel free to go back to any of my posts from June/July 2010 if you want to know how studying for the bar exam went. I’m just glad it’s over and hope to never have to take it again.

Why do I call myself Legally Fabulous? I don’t even really know anymore. When I first started writing this blog I knew it was going to be something Legally Blonde spinoffish (gee, a blonde law student who loves Legally Blonde/Elle Woods… I know, I know… I’m so original). I do have a pretty fabulous life in general. (It’s not so fabulous at the moment due to the fact that I’m unemployed and broke. Sads). But I really like nice things. I like to spend money on shoes and clothes and jewelry. Well, I used to. And someday when I’m employed again I will continue to do so. In the meantime I’m just going to write about the fabulous things I’m lusting over.

Why do I blog? Well, certainly not because I have anything profound to say or because I think I’m some great writer. I mostly blog because funny things happen to me a lot, and I have lots of funny stories that I like to share. And sometimes in law school, you need a place to vent about how much you hate law school and law students other than to friends who aren’t in law school because they just don’t get it. And now that I’ve mentioned that I should address another question I get asked frequently. No, despite the fact that law school sucks and the bar sucks and some law students suck and some lawyers suck and I’m unemployed, I don’t regret going to law school. I still WANT to be a lawyer. I will find the right job eventually, and it will all have been worth it.

I am from Dallas, Texas, where I grew up and spent the first 18 years of my life before heading off to the University of Illinois for college. How I ended up at UofI is a long long story. Cliffs Notes version: I didn’t get in to the only school I wanted to go to, my boyfriend at the time went to UofI, I visited him all the time and had a lot of fun, he encouraged me to apply, then he transferred, and then I went there. I absolutely loved it and wouldn’t change anything about it. Pretty much everyone from UofI moves to Chicago after graduation, so coming to law school here was a natural progression. And now here I am. I (mostly) love Chicago. I love living in a big city, and the wonderful summers make the miserable winters totally worth it. Sometimes I bitch about high sales tax and public transportation and the non-stop Barack Obama love, but overall, I love it. Do I think I’ll stay here forever? Not sure. I think I see myself moving back to Dallas eventually, but I have no definite plans.  

I am a socially moderate Republican. I only bring this up because I occasionally like to delve into issues such as the death penalty (I am pro-death penalty but did death penalty defense work in law school) and gay marriage. As for gay marriage – I’m a big supporter. In addition to my little gay roommate and various gay and lesbian friends, I have two lesbian aunts. And I believe that marriage is a fundamental civil right that every person is entitled to. There are other issues I’m not so sure about, and I don’t claim to know it all.  For the most part I respect other people’s opinions. I have no problem having intelligent conversations about abortion, the death penalty, gun control, etc. I understand why someone would be pro-choice or pro-life, I understand why people oppose guns and the death penalty, even if I don’t. And I have to be honest - the one issue I’m not budging on is “being gay”/gay marriage. People who think that being gay is a “choice” and a “sin” because the Bible says so get no respect from me. I absolutely can NOT understand why someone would be against gay rights. I understand why you could not really care. I understand that if it doesn’t affect you it’s easy not to care. I also don’t hate people who feel that way. I mostly just feel really sorry for them for being so ignorant and closed-minded. (whoaaaaa totally didn’t mean to make this about me about politics. Whoopsies).

I abide by the golden rule of the interwebz/blogging/twitter: If you don’t like what you’re reading, stop reading it. I don’t make mean comments or tweet passive aggressive digs at people. If I don’t like what you’re blogging or tweeting about, I just unfollow. I encourage you to do the same. That being said – I have pretty thick skin. So if you want to come around and tell me I’m fat/stupid/ugly/whatever with hopes of it upsetting me, it isn’t likely. I’d actually venture to say that that’s one of my biggest problems – I should probably care more about what people think of me instead of thinking I’m so damn great. Whatever, maybe I just AM that damn great. (Oh, and did I mention that I’m brutally honest?).

People ask a lot if I’m really like what I’m like on my blog/twitter. I don’t think question is unique to me – I often wonder that about other blogs (mostly because I think there are a lot of bloggers who are full of shit/have no friends in real life so they go on the internet to make up a life they wish they had). I think I’m pretty much just like what I portray myself to be on here. I’ve met several readers who think that. I’ve also had several “in real life” friends who read the blog and tell me that they would have known it was my blog even if I hadn’t send them the link and they had just stumbled across it on the internet. One friend even said she could hear me talking while she read a post. Oh and that brings me to anonymity. Technically I'm anonymous. I say technically because if you know me, it isn't hard to figure out it's me. Between my writing, talking about my dog (who I also talk about all the time in real life), and my life in general, it's pretty obvious if you know me. So if you figure it out, I just ask that you not run around posting my real name in the comments or on your own blog or whatnot. Because while it wouldn't really matter, it would just make it less fun for everyone. K?

Feel free to e-mail me at legallyfabulous1@gmail.com. I love e-mails from readers and usually will answer any questions people have about law school/job searching/Chicago/my dog/my life/whatever. Except if you e-mail me to try to fish out my name or where I went to law school. Then I’ll probably just write back something bitchy.

Thanks for reading everybody - you guys are what makes blogging fun.

XOXO,
Legally Fabulous

Work Out Wednesday

It's been two weeks since the bar. I've worked out twice. Working out only twice in 14 days hasn't happened since I was in Europe last summer and that was all I could get in. So what's the deal now?

Well, to be honest, I have nothing to do.
And when I have nothing to do, I do nothing.

When I had an 8 hour day at work followed by 3 hours at class or some variant of that schedule M-F this semester, I had no problem getting to the gym. I would come home, change, and head back out the door. Didn't have a problem with it. That was just my routine. That's what I did.

But when I have nothing to do besides lay around all day, and maybe run to the post office? I can't seem to manage it.

And the half marathon is in 4 weeks.
This is bad. Very bad.

Lady Lawyer Gear

I am finding myself at quite a loss when it comes to the ole blog. I am currently working on an "about me" post for the end of the week, but it's really hard to sum up how awesome I am in less than a novel. Other things that I've been doing to entertain myself include building my "fantasy lady lawyer wardrobe."
As in - let's pretend I had a really good job that paid a whole lot of money. These are things that I would buy to wear to that job:

First up - this Armani blouse. Perfect for a more casual office day because it almost looks jacket like so you wouldn't have to wear a jacket with it. And in my favorite color ever - bright bight pink!

I usually don't really care for purple, but I love this Armani tie-front blouse. I love anything ruffly/with bows/feminine that is still office appropriate. 

I know a lot of people think that St. John's suits are for old ladies (and I admit that some ARE very old lady-ish)... but there are a lot that I LOVE. Currently lusting over these:

(I know this orange is not a typical suit color, but I love it... and I think the jacket would be great separate with a pair of navy pants!)

I'm not sure if this Valentino suit would really be appropriate at all... maybe it would be better in black, although I don't think I'd love it as much if it wasn't bright red. And I shouldn't have to mention that I would obviously wear a shell underneath it. Either way, I'm obsessed.

Can you tell that my favorite color family is red/orange/pink? Ha! I love wearing bright colors... it always makes me feel so much happier!

Oh and this most definitely is not lady lawyer gear... but I DIE for these Miu Miu glitter pumps. DIE.

*all images from Saks.com and Neimanmarcus.com


So am I the only one who stalks websites to play fantasy rich girl? Ha. 

Post-Bar Exam Anxiety

So a lot of my friends and I have discussed the bar exam in a moderate amount of detail. Not really going over questions, other than "holy shit that corporations question sucked"*, but just a general "well fuck that was REALLY hard."

But now? Everyone seems to have post-bar exam anxiety. I can't tell you how many of my friends have told me that they wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat or from a nightmare that they failed.  Or just randomly say "Shit I REALLY hope I don't have to take that again."

And don't get me wrong - I'm not saying it was easy. It was not. And I sure as hell don't have any desire to take it again in February. But I have barely even thought about it since last week, other than the times I've talked about it with friends or someone asks me about it. I'm certainly not panicking about it, and I definitely don't wake up in the middle of the night worrying about it.
Maybe because I've been spending so much time worrying about how I'm going to pay my bills since I have no job? Maybe because I realize that there's not a damn thing I can do about it now?

It's likely that I'm feeling overly confident and that definitely means I failed. Feel free to comment that too, it won't hurt my feelings. We'll know for sure in 8 weeks.

*Oh and I should note that I have discussed how thrilled I was that there was a question on the MBE about mitigation in capital cases. Because HELLO! The ONLY.THING. I learned in law school! YAY! And apparently most people don't even know what mitigation is. (My death penalty clients has the sads for this).


And this has nothing to do with anything, except for the fact that I've watched it probably 100 times in the last 48 hours. And it NEVER.GETS.OLD. And I've done a piss poor job of providing you with entertainment lately. So here you go - enjoy.
Dying laughing.


oh and if that made no sense to you - you prob. haven't seen the original. Are you living in a cave? Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQdndGfF2C0&feature=related

Interview Questions

As I sit here trying to write cover letters whining to my friends on g-chat about how I hate being unemployed, my friend Nick sent me this link, from the best of Craigslist, of the Top 10 Interview Questions and Answers.

I'm re-posting it here (hope this is no copyright violation or some shit like that that I never learned about in law school... it's craigslist, so it's fine, right?).



One of the worst experiences in law school has been the ritual of submitting applications for summer employment and then going through a series of 20-minute screening interviews that would put a marine drill sergeant to shame when it comes to humiliating and dehumanizing you. Here are my top-ten (least) favorite questions, and how I actually answered them as opposed to how I would have liked to answer them.

1. Why are you interested in this firm?

What I said: Your firm handled (insert name of case I read on their website) which I found to be exciting because it was just like another case I was reading in this class I got an A in. I've also asked some (read: none) upper class-men about your office and they said it's a great work environment.

What I thought: I looked through your attorney roster and saw that you hire people who do not appear to have any honors and come from bad law schools. That made me think that I have a chance to work here.

2. Why did you go to law school?

What I said: I went to law school because I want to be able to make a difference. Legal work allows me to be competitive and to work for justice, both of which are important things in my life.

What I thought: That's a good question, and I ask myself it daily. I'd have to say the answer is, stupidity.

3. Do you think your grades are an accurate reflection of the kind of work you will do as an attorney?

What I said: Law school has been a challenge, and I think my grades reflect that. More important than my grades, which by the way have steadily improved over my academic career, is my dedication to the work I do. My performance during my summer jobs is the best indicator of how I will work, and you will find that my previous employers were all pleased with me (or at least forgot who I am and so will not remember the fuck ups).

What I thought: My grades are absolutely a good reflection of how I will work. I will put in the minimum amount of effort needed to not get fired, and I will approach my job with contempt and disinterest.

4. What would you say is your greatest weakness?

What I said: My greatest weakness is that I get too personally involved with my work. For instance, when I am working on trial prep, and then the case settles favorably, I feel as though it should have gone to trial anyway, despite knowing that the settlement is what's best for our firm and our client.

What I thought: Pussy. If there are any females in your office, you can be certain I will work twice as hard to get into their pants as I will to make my billables. And yes, since you require us to bill 1,900 hours, that means I will be sexually harassing my co-workers 3,800 hours a year.

5. Tell us about a recent mistake that you have made.

What I said: I accidentally misfiled a case at work that was set to go to trial the next week. As soon as I realized this, I alerted my supervisor and disaster was averted.

What I thought: An even bigger mistake I've made has been wasting 20 minutes of my life in this interview instead of taking a dump, that would have been much more satisfying and productive.

6. What do you do for fun?

What I said: I enjoy jogging, skydiving, and traveling to exotic countries.

What I thought: When I really want to have fun, I grab my "Big Butt Sluts # 24" DVD, a bottle of Bourbon, and a bottle of lube. By the end of the night, both bottles are empty, and my room smells like jizz and puke.

7. Tell us about your style of leadership.

What I said: I lead by taking the initiative and working proactively with my peers to come up with solutions.

What I thought: I lead by playing "The Eye of the Tiger" on a boombox while pounding my fist on the table and shouting insults. (It works, I've done it)

8. If you don't get hired by this firm, what will you do?

What I said: I will analyze what I could have done better during the interview and take that knowledge with me into my next interview with [rival firm name].

What I thought: I will breath a sigh of relief that I won't be working for an asshole like you. Or I will stalk you and slit your throat. I haven't decided yet.

9. Do you have any questions for us?

What I said: Will I have a key so that I can come in and work on the weekends?

What I thought: Will I have a key so that I can come in and have sex with my girl friend on my desk on the weekends?

10. We value creativity among our associates. With that in mind, what kind of plant would you be, and why?

What I said: I would be a tree, because they are tall, strong, and live a long life.

What I thought: I would be a tree, so that I could fall on you and kill you



This is SO spot on, it's scary. I'm cracking up. My friend Nick, who sent it to me, said

Me: I am SO #3. 

Nick:  you are actually exactly who I thought of after I thought, god I wish I didn't agree with this so much

but I particularly thought of you for the last question

 

 

 So yeah, for those of you who are wondering if I'm the same in real life as I am on the blog? I'd go ahead and say that's a resounding, YES.

"Enjoying" Unemployment.

An alternate title to this post would "Please stop telling me to enjoy having nothing to do" and would be a follow up to my friend Thanks, But no Thanks' post titled "Please stop telling me I'm going to pass the bar."

Side note: Alright. I know I just ranted on twitter that I was sick of people bitching all the time, and then I'm going to turn around and do the exact same thing via blog. Consider yourself warned, and feel free not to read.

Please. Please. PLEASE. STOP telling me to "enjoy" this time of unemployment while I have nothing to do. As much as I write about how I hate law students and lawyers and gunners etc etc., I am a somewhat type A personality. I don't enjoy having nothing to do. I lay in my bed all day feeling depressed. Depression leads to continued laying in bed. It's been 6 days since the bar and I think I'm developing bedsores. (only sort of kidding).

Yes I realize when I finally do have a job I will wish I could sleep until 2:00 PM and that my biggest goal of the week would be to get around to emptying the dishwasher. (Seriously, that's all that's going on around here.). But for now? I'm bored.

And really? The boredom I can handle. Drinking and eating and working out take up a lot of time.
(and here's where I commit a major faux pas and talk money)
What I can't handle is that I cannot afford to do anything that would ease my boredom. I currently have less than $200 in my checking account. As soon as my roommate pays me rent for the month I am going to pay for my parking and the bills to keep the lights on.
I haven't paid my condo assessments (homeowners association dues) since June. My mom would straight up kick my ass if she knew this.  I've been making bare minimum payments on my credit cards. And my mom would also kick my ass if she knew this. But she doesn't, thank God. Not to mention, it's not like I personally enjoy the thought of my credit score plummeting down because my debt to income ratio is disgusting.

I know other people have it worse than me. And I'm lucky. But that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. My parents are still paying my mortgage. I am not going to have to move home (although technically since my dad owns my home I already am living at home, my parents just don't live here).  I am not homeless. But dude, I am BROKE. And I don't have any savings to fall back on, because I've basically spent my entire life in school.
And my parents already gave me money for graduation to get me through the summer... it's gone gone gone now. Not to mention they've been bankrolling my entire life for the last 25 years. I just CAN NOT ask them for money. I can't do it.

Not to mention? I am one of the few who went to law school because I wanted to be a lawyer. And one of an even fewer group who STILL actually wants to be a lawyer. I like working. I also like shopping. I want to work, and earn money, so I can pay my bills, and so I can buy nice things.

So that's where I am. I know it will all work out, but that doesn't change the fact that there is just about nothing I am ENJOYING about unemployment.

Now what?

So, the bar exam happened.
I think I've slept 18 hours a day since it ended. And spent the other 6 hours each day being drunk. And now I'm semi-ready to rejoin the land of the living.
Which is great, except, uhhh... I have nothing to do. Yeah... weird. I've never in my life had nothing to do. I've always had a job. Or school. Or something.

I've still got to take the MPRE on Friday (ethics test. fml.). And I'm still training for the half marathon which is now only 6 weeks away. (and I am using the word "training" VERY loosely here. But getting back after it this week!). But I got bills, yo. I needs a j-o-b!

So last night I decided I should start looking for a job (yes, I realize that most people started this a long time ago. Whatever). So I was all getting ready to look for jobs, and then I realized... huh. I don't know where to look for those. Obviously I know my school's career services website has postings (worthless). And a friend suggested my undergraduate's alumni web site. But where else do people look for jobs?

So this is where you, my friends on the interwebz, help me out.
Tell me people - how did you get your lawyer jobs? And non lawyer people can chime in as well. How does anyone get a job?!
Oh, and if you're a Chicago lawyer - wanna hire me? I'm pretty and I promise I'll dress nice and show up on time and play nice with everyone else in the office.

Feel free to leave your answers in the comments or e-mail me. Because yeah, until I have a job there isn't going to be much to blog about around here. And don't you want me to have crazy clients like Namby?! You know I'll have such great stories from the office!