My friends are hilariously awesome

So I often blog about how awesome and hilarious my friends are... they provide a large amount of my blog fodder. This post comes from them....


B is a friend who was in my sorority in college and now attends law school with me. She and her boyfriend "C" have been together since college, and he attends our law school too.  They are so much fun and so hilarious. 


So this afternoon, I'm sitting on my couch, super hungover, watching Boston Legal reruns, and I get the following g-chat: 
(Oh and yes, the opening of the conversation was "guess what" - not "hey" "how are you" etc., which I think makes it even more hilarious)

B: guess what

me: what

B: C accidentally swallowed a quarter last night and is now waiting to poop it out

haha

me: omg

bahahahahaahahhaahahahaha

HOW in the hell did he do that?!

B: he chugged a beer after someone had dropped a quarter in it

me: bahahahahaha

only C.

B: haha hes such a renard

me: i'm seriously sitting on my couch laughing out loud right now

B: and it could take 4-6 days and if it doesn't come out in a week he should see the dr, so he'll have to check his poop all the time

haha

me: omg

B: one of the guys out w him last night was a dr and told him that

So then I'm telling my friend N to look out, because I was writing a blog post that he was going to enjoy (he knows B and C as well so I knew he'd laugh) and he said this: (M is another law student friend of ours)

N: last night, M and i crashed an azn sweet 16 party

work that into the blog post

So there ya have it. My friends are hilarious. Law students are idiots, drunks, etc. 

Hope everyone had a wonderful and hilarious weekend. And didn't swallow anything they weren't supposed to. 

Sex, Fees, and Control

Today in Legal Profession:

Professor: "Just remember, these are the main reasons that lawyers get in trouble: 

Sex, Fees, and Control."

Weird... these are also the reasons why I went to law school...

iTunes Tuesday

Hi everyone...

Daisy and I had a conversation yesterday about our workout playlists, so I thought today I would share my current workout playlist with the world.
This playlist usually has 25-30 songs on it and I rotate them in and out based on when I decide I'm sick of them... I prefer to work out to rap/hip-hop. The more ghetto the better. I just bought Gucci Mane's new album on iTunes and I'm obsessed.
Don't get me wrong - I love me some pop and listen to tonssss of Country, but it just doesn't do it for me when I'm pounding away on the treadmill and thinking about how much I hate running.
SO - this type of music may or may not interest you. If it does - maybe you'll get some new ideas to keep you going on the treadmill.

AND, the real reason for me writing this post (ohhh that's cute if you thought I just wanted to provide workout inspiration for you. hahahaha)- help a sister out! Anyone have any great workout songs that I'm missing?!

Weekend Recap

    Monday morning already?! WTF.
So here I am... back at work. Borrowing someone else's computer because we moved offices last week and I no longer have a cubicle. Or a computer. Or even a desk. So I just kinda bop around the office and use the computer of whoever didn't show up that hour.
It's kind of annoying but it's also a nice excuse for not actually doing real work, so whatever.


Friday night I went to happy hour after work with some co-workers. Came home early, went to bed before midnight. Good decisions were made.
Saturday night? Not so much.
Met up with a couple friends from college. I think we went to 7 bars in a period of 6 hours. And probably took tequila shots at each bar. Because that's always a good idea.

I woke up Sunday morning with a bump on my head, a bruise on my chin (it looks really nice at work today, by the way), and the following in my e-mail inbox:

E-mail #1 from Jay (received at 1:30 PM. I apparently did not hear the 6 times he called my cell. Whoops)

if you don't answer your phone, im going to kill you.

call my sister's place when you get this: 773-3xx-xxxx

also, what the fuck happened last night.  Jesus...

E-mail #2, to me and Joe:


Hi.  Do either of you have any idea of the whereabouts of my cellular telephone?  It was lost.  I am fucked.

Thanks.
Jay

Reply from me:

Maybe your phone is playing with my diamond earring... And my dignity. 

Reply from Joe, who has lost 3 jackets at bars since 2010 began:

On the bright side I did not lose a jacket last night. Dignity is relative so as long as we hang out together we are good. 

 And of course, the following g-chat this morning with a friend that I tried to meet up with but never saw on Saturday:

me: This weekend was a disaster. Amazingly fun disaster, but a disaster. I have a giant bump on my head and a bruise on my chin.

S: yea same......well no bruises but disaster....once again because of my weekend i feel miserable and depressed today

So there ya have it. Operation: Get my life in order begins today. Since I'm currently working on an assignment that was due February 10th. I got an extension to e-mail it to my prof by 9AM this morning. It's 10, I just started it. Such a good law student.

So, How was everyone else's weekend?

oh and p.s. - found my diamond earring this morning. on the ledge of my bathtub. thank God!

I know how Elin feels...

Or at least I did for a minute....

Elle Woods just came into my room with long black hairs hanging out of her mouth.

At first I freaked out and thought she had a new mommy in her life...

And then I REALLY freaked out and thought she had been a bad baby Dino and she had eaten an Asian for dinner.

And then I realized that she probably just got into my roommate's room and played with his wig from when he dressed up as Snooki last weekend.

PHEW.

And now, dear readers, you realize what kind of life I live that the simplest explanation for the long black hairs hanging out of my dog's mouth is that my gay roommate must have been brushing his weave in my bathroom when he borrowed my hairspray and my dog got into it.



Welp, glad we got that settled.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Weigh-In Wednesday.... Thursday

Weigh-in Wednesday is coming on Thursday this week... oops.

This week is a little scary after vacation in Hawaii.... Eeek!

This week: + 4

Total: -15

I have to admit, I'm annoyed at myself. I've been between -15 and -20 for like 4 months now. It's getting really old. Especially when I have another 15-20 pounds to go. 

THURSDAY
Nothing. Last day in Hawaii.... last day of disgusting vacation eating!

FRIDAY
Last leg of trip - spent the day in Dallas. Back to Chicago, back to the grind.

SATURDAY
10 minutes warmup on the bike
35 minutes on the treadmill -
5 minutes on the stairmaster (I was DYING and couldn't do anymore for some reason)
10 minutes on the elliptical
weights/pushups

SUNDAY
Nothing. Lazy. Tired. Cranky. Etc.

MONDAY
Took a nap, overslept, and missed spinning. Whoops! Still made it to do cardio though.
10 minutes warmup on the bike
Ran 2 miles in 21 minutes (whoo! getting faster!)
10 minutes on stairmaster
15 minutes on elliptical
pushups and crunches

TUESDAY
Nothing

So obviously my lack of workouts this week along with vacation didn't help. I am predicting a big loss next week though, so get ready for it....

Just another day in the office.

I'm at work.

I'm helping my boss edit a chapter she wrote for a CLE book/manual/whatever.

I just spent 20 minutes trying to figure out why section 10.19 didn't come before section 10.6.

Obviously I'm a big help.

Now I have to figure out how to bill those 20 minutes.

I'm going to be a great lawyer.

I'm alive

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to let you know that I'm alive. Life has been crazy since my trip to Hawaii last week. I will blog pics from my trip later this week when I get a second, but for now some quick updates:
(if you follow me on twitter you already know all this)

Found out last Wednesday that the ex-boyfriend's wife is pregnant.
Barf.
Barf.
Barf.
I could write so much more about this, but I don't even have the energy to talk about it. It's all been said before.

Then Friday on the way back to Chicago I had a long layover in Dallas because of the crazy weather. My dad picked me up from the airport and informed me that my mother's cancer is back. (Welcome back to reality, right?). Sucks.
She had ovarian cancer my freshman year of college and beat it.
Routine scans revealed it's back. She had first round of chemo today (no time to waste!).

So peeps, say some prayers. For my mom, for her doctors, for my sanity. I feel like I'm teetering on the brink of a total mental breakdown. Not in like a I need to be institutionalized kind of way.... in like a I'm really busy and have a lot going on and too much work to do and AHHHHHHHHH I'm just gonna SNAP on someone and EAT THEM or CRUSH THEM so STAY THE F OUT OF MY WAY kind of way. Know what I mean?

Not this way:

This way:

So mostly just pray for my mom and her doctors. I'll be fine.
Oh and pray for everyone who knows me in real life. And the city of Chicago. RAWR!

Weigh-In Wednesday and 8K Training

On vacation this week, so there is no actual weigh-in. Hooray! It's nice to take a break from the scale. :)
Here are my actual workouts for this week:

WEDNESDAY
45 minute spin class
15 minutes elliptical

THURSDAY
5 minutes stationery bike
20 minutes stairmaster
20 minutes elliptical

FRIDAY
Walked like 2 miles to the beach... this counts for something, right? haha

SATURDAY
Vacation. Lay off me.

SUNDAY
10 minutes on the bike
30 minutes alternating running/walking on the treadmill
15 minutes elliptical
weights

MONDAY
Pool day... nothing

TUESDAY
3 mile run/walk outside in about 35 minutes.


Now... about this 3 mile run/walk I did. It was TOUGH. I don't know why I find it SO MUCH HARDER to run outside than I do on the treadmill (even in absolutely perfect weather, like it was today), but I do. I barely ran half a mile and felt like I was going to die. I sucked it up and got through it, but only barely!

Last week I signed up for the Shamrock Shuffle - a HUGE 8k in Chicago on March 21st. Lots of peple do it and it should be lots of fun, but after today's run outside I'm a bit nervous... especially because you just have NO idea what the weather is going to be life in March in Chicago. It could be 60's and sunny and beautiful, or it could be 10 degrees and blizzard conditions. If I was struggling running in beautiful Hawaii... I'm nervous about how the shuffle is going to go!

So, today I came up with my 8k training program. I did some googling and found a couple online and just modified it to fit my usual workout... so here is my plan for the next 6 weeks (we'll see how it goes!)

Aloha!

Aloha everyone!
Here's a quick update:

I left this:

To come to this:

 

  

 

It is wonderful here. More to come later. :)

Weigh-In Wednesday

This week: 0

Total: -19

Another Wednesday... another weigh-in. This one was not so great, but I kinda of expected it. And really, right now I'm so concerned about how badly my  legs hurt. Because HOLY SHIT, my legs hurt.
Yesterday I took Body Pump and Zumba with my roommate. Body Pump was amazing. I wish we had it at my regular gym because if we did I would go all the time. (we went to another gym in the neighborhood because my roommate knows the teacher. He was amazing and I loved it).  For those of you who don't know - Body Pump is basically a quick 30 minute resistance/weight workout. Lots of squatting and lunging and curling, etc.

Now... Zumba.
You guys. I don't even know what to say about this. First off - I couldn't really break it down like I would have liked to because my legs were JELLO from Body Pump. The instructor was a fabulous and hilarious gay man, and the class was PACKED. A lot of regulars, but quite a few newbies. Some of the favorites in the class - a pre-op black tranny and a post-op Asian Tranny.
The best part about the class? I don't know how it's possible, but no one in that class had any self-esteem issues. Even the whitest of the white girls were shakin their junk like they just didn't care. There were moms and grannies. And it was hysterical. My biggest complaint - the class was an hour long. An hour is a long time. I would have been totally fine with 45 minutes. I'm not sure I would make the class a regular thing, but it was fun to let loose and act like an idiot for an hour with my friend.

So this week's workouts, for those of you who care:

WEDNESDAY
Took the day off. It was snowing, I was exhausted, and I just wanted nothing to do with the gym. Ate pizza and cookies instead. And when I say "pizza" I mean Giordano's stuffed spinach and when I say "cookies" I mean 2 dozen cookies that my mother sent me. Oops.

THURSDAY
5 minutes stationery bike
35 minutes treadmill (alternating running and walking every 5 minutes)
20 minutes elliptical

FRIDAY
Took the day off again. Ate leftover pizza and watched DVD's. Glorious evening.

SATURDAY
10 minutes stationery bike
10 minute run (5.5 mph 1.5% incline)
20 minutes stairmaster
15 minutes elliptical

SUNDAY
10 minutes stationery bike
20 minutes running/walking
15 minutes elliptical
Weights - shoulders/chest

MONDAY
45 minute spinning class
15 minutes elliptical

TUESDAY
30 minute body pump class
60 minute Zumba class
Holy.Hell. This workout whipped me. I could barely participate in Zumba becuase my legs were so jello-y from body pump. I loved body pump though.... what a great way to get weights/resistance training in in 30 minutes!

Facebook thinks I'm a lesbian

So apparently facebook thinks I'm a lesbian. My current ads? "Lesbian Valentine's Cards" and something for internet dating. 

I am still trying to figure out what in the hell would give off the impression that I want to date women.

My friends have been so sympathetic....

me: so

facebook thinks i'm a lesbian.

neat.

C: facebook and the world sweetie

 

Looooovelllyyyyy.

Vacation Week!

Greetings Fabulous Ones!

Vacation week has finally arrived!

On Thursday I will be heading west... way west... to warm and beautiful Honolulu!


Of course that also means that this week is a whole week of "last chance" workouts (any Biggest Loser fans out there? Speaking of... how f'ing awful is the Green team?! Did someone tell them they were actually on a reality TV show called the "Biggest Bitches"? bc if so... they'd totally be winning.).
And tomorrow, I'm going to Body Pump and Zumba... which I swore up and down that I'd never do. My little gay roommate* has a friend who teaches the classes at a gym in our 'hood, so we're going to go tomorrow. My roommate has been going the last couple weeks and said that it's really fun, so I'm going to try it out. I am very nervous. I was apprehensive about the idea of Zumba from the beginning, but then when Martinis or Diaper Genies wrote about it last week, I knew it was not for me. And here I am going.
(sidenote: if you don't read Martinis or Diaper Genies, you should. She's really funny. Like, funnier than me. and I'm SUPER funny. I'm pretty sure we'd be friends in real life. And she'll respond to your comments so it's almost like you ARE real life friends! Win!)

So anyway. to recap: Zumba. Tomorrow. Bathing suit. Friday.
This week is scary.

Now back to the whole point of this post - HONOLULU!
So I've been to Hawaii before - when I was in 4th grade. So obviously I don't really remember a whole lot and I wasn't old enough to do any cool stuff (i.e. drink vodka and make out with strangers). So does anyone have any suggestions of where I should go to do this cool stuff while I'm there?
I am flying out there by myself, but going to visit a friend from college and his fiancee who live there. I'll be staying with them.
What hotel bars should I hang out at to find hot men? What beaches can I go to by myself that I won't be surrounded by kids?  (friend and fiancee are in school/work, so I'll be on my own during the day).
Also - I would like to take my friends out to a nice dinner one night as a thank you for letting me crash on their couch for a week. Suggestions for good/nice restaurants? Expensive is fine. (I am using frequent flier miles to get out there and staying for free, so a nice dinner will be my only real cost.) I love a good steak, so I'm thinking a steakhouse? But I'm open to suggestions.

Anything else I just need to do while I'm there? Aside from the Dole Plantation... I will never forget the delicious pineapple soft serve from our last trip and I will most definitely be making a return trip there this visit.


So let's have it, readers. Tell me where to go, what to do, why you hate me for taking a week off of school/work/life just because I feel like it to go on a vacation.



*No, really... my roommate is little and gay. As in, 5'0" in shoes and weighs less than my dog. Okay, so my dog weighs a lot, but he's a 23 year old who weighs 106 pounds.