An alternate title to this post would "Please stop telling me to enjoy having nothing to do" and would be a follow up to my friend Thanks, But no Thanks' post titled "Please stop telling me I'm going to pass the bar."
Side note: Alright. I know I just ranted on twitter that I was sick of people bitching all the time, and then I'm going to turn around and do the exact same thing via blog. Consider yourself warned, and feel free not to read.
Please. Please. PLEASE. STOP telling me to "enjoy" this time of unemployment while I have nothing to do. As much as I write about how I hate law students and lawyers and gunners etc etc., I am a somewhat type A personality. I don't enjoy having nothing to do. I lay in my bed all day feeling depressed. Depression leads to continued laying in bed. It's been 6 days since the bar and I think I'm developing bedsores. (only sort of kidding).
Yes I realize when I finally do have a job I will wish I could sleep until 2:00 PM and that my biggest goal of the week would be to get around to emptying the dishwasher. (Seriously, that's all that's going on around here.). But for now? I'm bored.
And really? The boredom I can handle. Drinking and eating and working out take up a lot of time.
(and here's where I commit a major faux pas and talk money)
What I can't handle is that I cannot afford to do anything that would ease my boredom. I currently have less than $200 in my checking account. As soon as my roommate pays me rent for the month I am going to pay for my parking and the bills to keep the lights on.
I haven't paid my condo assessments (homeowners association dues) since June. My mom would straight up kick my ass if she knew this. I've been making bare minimum payments on my credit cards. And my mom would also kick my ass if she knew this. But she doesn't, thank God. Not to mention, it's not like I personally enjoy the thought of my credit score plummeting down because my debt to income ratio is disgusting.
I know other people have it worse than me. And I'm lucky. But that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. My parents are still paying my mortgage. I am not going to have to move home (although technically since my dad owns my home I already am living at home, my parents just don't live here). I am not homeless. But dude, I am BROKE. And I don't have any savings to fall back on, because I've basically spent my entire life in school.
And my parents already gave me money for graduation to get me through the summer... it's gone gone gone now. Not to mention they've been bankrolling my entire life for the last 25 years. I just CAN NOT ask them for money. I can't do it.
Not to mention? I am one of the few who went to law school because I wanted to be a lawyer. And one of an even fewer group who STILL actually wants to be a lawyer. I like working. I also like shopping. I want to work, and earn money, so I can pay my bills, and so I can buy nice things.
So that's where I am. I know it will all work out, but that doesn't change the fact that there is just about nothing I am ENJOYING about unemployment.
oh snap!
ReplyDeleteI noticed once law school started, I could "enjoy" myself to relax and recover and sleep in after exams for 3-5 days max. After that I'm climbing the walls without shit to do. Which kinda blows. But it's good in that you'll be applying for jobs while everybody else is relaxing? Or something?
ReplyDeleteFYI, you can get kicked out of your condo for not paying your assessments. It's sort of what I do. I'd continue to pay those if I were you.
ReplyDeletei hear you. i'm pregnant, losing my job as my entire department is being eliminated in november, and now i've decided to go back to school instead of hunt for a new job. yes my husband works, but like you i like to have nice things. unemployment/being broke blows.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that. I graduated from LS last year and JUST got a job a year later (not meant to scare you, I decided to take a bar in a state I was not moving to. Epic genius right here). I hated it when people were like "you are so lucky to have nothing to do! Enjoy your time!" I was like "Um, I am broke and the only I can do with my day is watch TV or clean...both of which make me feel worthless after going from 100 miles an hour to 0." So, if its any consolation, your not alone in hating being unemployed and I feel you on the finance woes.
ReplyDeleteWow. I felt like that was directed at my comment from the other day.
ReplyDeleteYou are always welcome at my casa, where I will make martinis and/or sangria and mango salsa.
ReplyDeleteI am always looking for cheap/free things to do because I, too, suffer the misfortune of being broke and bored. The public library is my best friend. For reals. And reading makes me feel so much less lazy than watching tv. And you could read anywhere. Like at a park. Not just in bed. I'm also obsessed with doing my nails. This weekly obsession costs about $6 a week when I get my colors on sale at Ulta. And I'm crafty, so I can spend an entire weekend scrapbooking (which is pretty affordable if you don't buy one million stickers). Not that that's for everyone. And there's always volunteering.I know you do CASA, but you might could throw in the dog shelter or Meals on Wheels time for some job hunt karma. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYep, this was me from December - June.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a similar unemployment vent this week, and although I didn't specifically mention money, I am completely with you on this. I don't enjoy being idle, and I detest being dependent far more. I hate that someone else has to "take care" of me while I scramble to find work. I hate that I just finished an MPA and it means nothing in this recession.
ReplyDeleteBasically, all I've gotta say is "Aaaaamen." You have every right and reason to vent.
I took the bar last July and did not find a paying gig until May of this year. Plus, I didn't take on a regular volunteer gig until last November. I went totally crazy from August - November. I didn't like not having anything to do. Although my husband working meant that we weren't poor, my not having a job meant putting off things like traveling and me buying pretty things. It sucked. I do recommend temp jobs (I worked w/ Special Counsel and they were great.) Definitely provided a little extra income, which was helpful.
ReplyDeleteHee! Hee! Thanks for the story about Elle Woods and the bread! So funny! I think Honey would have done the same thing - she is normally very good about things left on the counter (well, she knows the kitchen is off-limits) but I think bread might just be too much of a temptation!! :-)
ReplyDeleteHsin-Yi
Gosh...and I was just thinking that if I were you I would never get out of bed...not because I was enjoying the "free time" but because I would be so depressed...
ReplyDeleteAs for the lack of money....um yeah...I'm still trying to come up with a good scam to get someone to agree to pay bar/bri, PMBR & the fees & costs for the bar. Any suggestions LF?! ;)
I am super broke right now, too. I have a job so luckily I have a paycheck coming but it was beyond humiliating to call my grandpa and ask him for cash when I should be taking care of myself. I'll cross my fingers for you.
ReplyDeletePlus, I get the type A thing. I've gotten off at 5 yesterday and today and now I'm just looking around wondering what I'm supposed to do until bedtime.
I'm in the same boat as you. I HATE the whole "enjoy your unemployment" comments. Being unemployed fucking sucks. I don't have the money to do anything but make minimum payments. So basically...I hear ya and I think we should probably shank the next person to encourage us to enjoy ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it helps, but I'm in your boat without the JD. I just finished my 1L year, worked this summer for a great place that paid nothing in an expensive city, so my savings has bid me adeiu and I hate the thought that I'm going to spend 2 more years living on student loans for a job that may not be forthcoming at graduation.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, I finished my internship on Friday and I'm already getting sick of trash TV ... although I was able to get a few laughs from Maury and I'm about a week away from understanding who all the new people are on One Life To Live.
I don't know when it'll get better for you, but I hope so soon. Your blog helped me find humor in the ridiculousness that was the first year.
I understand it- I'm a workaholic/busy bee too, and being forced to take an entire month off due to bad health issues earlier this year drove me BONKERS! I couldn't stand it! I felt like I was going out of my skin.
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
I know EXACTLY how you feel - what I hate more than being told "Enjoy having time off" is "Everything will work out"....how do people know that??? Things could be sh*tty for quite some time haha I am so broke (even with a working husband) that I may have to move back in with my parents because student loans are just waitinggggg to be paid, ugh.
ReplyDelete