I said I wasn't going to panic.
I yelled at my friends who panicked.
But I am behaving in such un-fabulous fashion right now.
I am not quite panicking yet. But ohhhh I'm on the brink.
I've procrastinated all summer. I actually did stop partying and going out after July 4th... but I don't know what the hell I've been doing for the last 2 weeks.
I haven't been following bar/bris schedule. In fact I've barely looked at it. I just went to lectures and half-assed paid attention all summer. And then I did some practice MBE problems.
Basically I did everything that everyone says not to do. Because I'm a big fucking idiot.
And now, here I am.
And if I fail the bar exam, I have absolutely no one to blame but myself. (at least I said if, and not when)
Fuck.
So here's what I need:
- I need you to tell me about how you never did a practice essay and passed the bar exam.
- I need you to tell me about your friend/spouse/classmate who is a big fucking idiot and passed the bar exam.
- Or how you/your friend didn't study until the week before and never went to barbri and passed the exam.
- I need my dog to stop barfing/diarrhea-ing/bleeding, etc.
- I need to eat something other than sweetarts for dinner.
- Prayers, karmic vibes, love and light, etc.
What I don't need:
- To keep dicking around on the internet.
- To let this near-panic evolve into full-blown panic.
- For someone to comment"you'll be fine" "you'll be great" "you're gonna pass". If you do, I will cut you. (See this post from Thanks, but No Thanks for elaboration.)
*EDITED TO ADD: I feel better just getting this out on "paper". I've made a study schedule for the next 8 days. I chatted with a friend who talked me off the ledge. I am going to get some sleep and wake up tomorrow prepared to tackle the day. Do not call social services on me just yet.
A co-worker of mine last summer worked 30 hours a week while he studied on an ipod. I texted him in full panic the other day. He said he did some MBEs and two essays. Otherwise, he studied off the lecture notes.
ReplyDeleteHe passed. And let me tell you, he worked a lot and he wasn't very pleasant towards the end.
You will be fine. You'll be more than fine if you can find a way to not panic. Everyone frantically wonders if they did enough. All you can do is keep going and learn everything you can over this next week.
ReplyDeleteDeep breaths Legally Fabulous, it will be over before you know it!
I know honest-to-God idiots who passed. They are dumb. They sucked in law school. Some of them didn't even go to ABA-accredited law schools.
ReplyDeleteMy ex? Passed out in a drunken stupor, was "kidnapped" by his friends, and wound up at a Bob Dylan concert in Wisconsin the week before the exam.
See? People with worse habits than you, who were far less awesome and intelligent and adorable have done it.
You have still have time to get a little more prep-work in. And you will be just fine.
(Go ahead and hate me for the last six words. I don't care. I have faith in you.)
I know some dumb lawyers, so clearly anything is possible.
ReplyDeleteBut, and I say this in love, get off the blog. If you do not spend the next 8 days studying, I will kick you in the shin. I do not want to see a blog from you until it's over. And that's an order!
I had a breakdown that involved crying yesterday. It was horrible. The only good thing about the bar is that everybody else is going through the same thing. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteSending good vibes your way. Nothing that will get me cut, for sure.
ReplyDelete(P.S. I was a minimalist studier...read, was still bachelorette partying it up the week before the bar exam and I managed to pull it out and pass. It can be done.)
Honestly, panicking is a good thing at this point. Panicking early in the summer, not productive. Panicking with a week and a half to the exam - reasonable (I found terror helpful in memory retention before the bar exam). It's those people who are confident they are going to pass that fail miserably. Just keep at it. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI know, and work, with a lot of god damn idiots, who all managed to somehow pass the bar. As in, they must have sold their firstborn children, because that is how not bright they are.
ReplyDeleteYou. Can. Do. It.
The Bar/Bri schedule is bullshit. You were wise to disregard. I studied some areas a lot and some barely at all. I did 2 practice essays. There were some straight up idiotas in my class and I think all but one passed on the first try.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I know lots of really smart (even brilliant) people that took it 2 and 3 times. Failing isn't the end of the world. Not even close. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Good luck!
I never took a practice essay, I partied hardy until the 4th of July. I PANICKED two weeks before the exam, got my ass in gear (stopped taking my laptop to the coffee shop helped) and studied like I've never studied before. I took the Louisiana bar which is 9 essay exams over three days - I had plenty of slacker friends pass. I had friends who skipped entire tests pass.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to tell you that you'll be fine because that was the worst thing people told me, so I'll just send some good vibes your way!!
Coming out of lurkdom to impart my wisdom...
ReplyDeleteI moved cross-country two weeks before the bar exam. As a result, I couldn't take Barbri because I wasn't in the state where I took the exam until 1-2 weeks beforehand. I had been half-heartedly studying before I left, and was tanking the practice exams. Don't recall that I ever did a practice essay. I borrowed a friend's PMBR CDs and listened to them while driving my crappy old car across the country. It would be hard to tell you who was howling more, me or my two cats. It sucked. SUCKED. I had several more breakdowns/sobfests (including a doozy the night of the first day of the exam).
I passed. Have been practicing 4 years now. However, I have no desire to repeat that experience again ever.
Hang in there! It is a rite of passage and means nothing about the kind of lawyer you will be. Unfortunately, it is inevitable that you must take the exam, so just remember what my husband told me while I was doing it: "How do you eat a big pile of shit? You just dig in, one turd at a time."
My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me the day Bar Studying started, and to say I didn't take it well would be an understatement. I attended Barbri lectures and that's pretty much it until 2 weeks before the exam. The rest of the time I stared at the wall, didn't sleep, and watched Sex In the City (since it was the only thing that was on at 3 am). I hardly studied, barely did practice problems, didn't sleep, didn't eat and lost 40 lbs. The week before the exam my mother came down because I called having a nervous breakdown. Got prescribed sleeping pills, and I went to the library to study that week, while my mother hung around, cooked (forced me to eat) and basically just sat around as support.
ReplyDeleteI kicked the Bar Exams ass. Passed with flying colors...and so will you.
I didn't do any essays. I pretended to, and might have even tried a tiny bit to do some, but failed miserably. Fuck essays. Because that is the one area that law school actually DID prepare us for the bar exam - we can BS an essay in our sleep. Just memorize elements and crap, the essay part will take care of itself.
ReplyDeleteUmm, I totally know idiots who managed to become lawyers... highly highly paid ones at that! And even though I've never taken the bar (umm, not having attended law school and not having my bachelor's until December impedes that), I have studied for maybe 8% of all the tests I've taken in my life... and I definitely bullshitted around before my teaching certification test last month. Granted, I don't have the results back until after 5 today, but I don't remember being too fazed when taking it.
ReplyDeleteSeriously. You're fabulous and lesser people than you have kicked the bar's ass on a regular basis with no review.
Okay, here goes. I am taking it next week also. Here is what I have learned from others:
ReplyDelete1. It's possible to pass in your situation.
2. If you are panicking (and this worked for me and others) have a full blown, mind ripping, screaming, crying, throwing things, balls to the wall panic attack and move on. You can't deny panic, it will simply build. But if you give it a way to vent and bleed out, it becomes much more manageable (doesn't go away, but you don't end up a puddle of goo).
3. MOVE ON. Start right here, right now.
Other than that, good luck.
Chill out, buckle down, study and sleep. You can do anything for 8 days.
ReplyDeleteA good friend of ours took the bar in February 2008 before graduation, didn't pay for Bar/bri, and passed. He didn't take it in February because he thinks he's hot shit, but because he thought it was worth trying without killing himself, otherwise he'd do it by the book for July if he failed, but his gamble paid off! He did FINE (not saying he did great, but he passed)! With bare bones minimal studying! It can so be done!
ReplyDeleteI saw your response on the "thank you but no thank you" post about not doing work and came here for reassurance that I am not the only one who ignored the bar for most of the summer. You and I have approached this in a substantially similar way. WE CAN DO THIS.
ReplyDeleteIn the last 6 weeks, my laptop died (last week, great timing), my boyfriend's parents announced their divorce, my boyfriend's mother had a stroke, and my best friend is getting married 2 days after the bar. Distractions happen in life. Just set them aside and focus. F*ck the internet, its an incredible distraction (see? I'm distracted right now!!!). WE CAN DO THIS.
I have done a good amount of practice essays, but I honestly find it more helpful to read the question, jot a few notes for how I might try to answer, then read the board's analysis. We're not beating them, we're joining them, so we gotta learn to think like these bastards. WE CAN DO THIS.
See you on the pass list in November.
(I must add... your poor puppy :( I'm so so so so sorry about Elle.)
The kid on Real Housewives of New Jersey will probably get back into law school and eventually pass. So if a dumb fuck like that can do it...I'm guessing you can too!
ReplyDeleteLady, I am in the exact same place as you. In fact, I'm in Chicago so we probably had the same Bar/Bri classes. I just keep thinking about this: counting today (which I totally do, because I'm a night owl and have hours of study left in me tonight) we have EIGHT DAYS. Eight days! That is a long, long time. We can DO THIS. Just focus and don't let the panic get to you. This is do-able.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm so sorry about your dog. I can't imagine the stress of the bar plus worrying about sick puppy. I hope she feels better soon!