Motivation in pictures

Well this was quite an interesting weekend. I had several mini-breakdowns, didn't sleep a whole lot, didn't study a whole lot. Now that I think about it, I don't really know what I did all weekend. Except complain. I did a lot of complaining. Oh and laugh my ass off trying to think of new wireless internet names.

So basically I'm just in a funk about my life and have been throwing a giant pity party.
And I have no motivation to study for the bar exam. Which is ridiculous. Like hello, do I want to study for it again in January and February? HELL NO. That should be motivation enough. Not to mention how freaking embarrassing it will be if I fail. Like REALLY embarassing.

Even watching Legally Blonde and Erin Brockovich haven't done it for me... and seriously? Those movies ALWAYS motivate me.


For my 25th birthday in May my mom made me a photo book of some of her favorite pictures from my life thus far. She did such a great job of picking out the pics that really represent "me." First days of school, dance recitals, first time ever to wear pink, basketball games, high school proms, etc. (oh, and she even made sure not to include a single picture of the ex, which must have been a real challenge because I think almost every picture that exists of me from age 16-22 included him! thanks mom!).

So last night after dinner, I flipped open that book. I needed a reminder of what I've been working for all these years.  Because for pretty much 25 years now, I've wanted to be a lawyer. This is why my parents paid private school tuition K-12, out of state college, and private law school. So I can pass this damn bar exam and be a freaking lawyer. So here are a few of the pictures that are motivating me to hit the books for the next 15 days.

Reading at around age 2. True story - I used to get in trouble for reading too much. Like I would bring books to the dinner table and my dad would get pissed and take them away til after dinner.

(side note - Mom - what the hell is up with this hair cut? and this dress?)

First day of school - First Grade. Sweet Red socks, huh?

This still might be one of my greatest academic accomplishments. First place in the Science fair in first grade (this was a BIG DEAL at my school). I guess I decided to ignore my science prowess when majoring in journalism and attending law school, ha

I wish I had a picture of me winning the school-wide spelling bee and going on to compete in the Diocesan spelling bee in 8th grade. I would probably say aside from getting my J.D. this is one of my proudest moments in academia. HA!

First day of 2nd or 3rd grade... obviously way too cool to be excited about posing for a picture here.

I also have a picture of the first day of senior year of high school that I would totally post, except for the whole anonymity thing. Because seriously, other than the 40 pounds I've gained since then, I look EXACTLY the same. (seriously. we had a family picture taken senior year of high school and a friend that came over a couple weeks ago asked if it was from last summer. ha)

But here is one pic of me from high school - basketball. I know it's not academic, but basketball was the only thing that kept me from losing my damn mind in high school, so I'm including it.

And one last high school pic - 

Graduation. 

Can you spot me? Why not? It's not like we all look the same. Ha.

(I was senior class president, so I'm front row center.)

So now - I'm back to the books. Barely more than 2 weeks until it's time to take this test. And really? If I don't pass this shit, all of the crap I busted my butt for for all this years is for naught. And that? Would suck.