My name is Daisy & while LF is off gallivanting around Chicago (also known as taking the bar exam) I'm running DayCamp Daisy, wherein Elle Woods comes to play for a few days. This idea was hatched awhile ago when I sadly informed Ms. Fabulous that new attorney salaries do not include a budget section for "dinners at Alinea for friends recently taking the bar exam" so instead I offered the next best thing: a respite from potty breaks and 4 am snuffles while she tried to recite riparian water rights acronyms. (I have yet to come up with something to help the next two months also referred to as the Waiting Game when everyone you know (but most especially your parents and assorted family) ask you on a daily basis if you've gotten your "score" yet. No, you big jerks, I have to wait until October and so do you.)
I know, I know. I'll collect my Noble Prize for this later.
In the interim I have a house full of canine, what with my husband B (ha!), our beagle Rhett Butler, and of course, the super model Elle Woods. Our beagle weighs 22 pounds and Elle weighs a lot more (ladies don't disclose their weight) but think triple digits and yet, when they walk they insist on doing so at the EXACT. SAME. PACE. which is two parts hilarious one part frustrating because, yo, dogs, JUST WALK TO THE PARK. GIDDY UP, YA'LL.
Rhett Butler & Elle Woods are bff forever and if they had opposable thumbs they would most likely be knotting each other friendship bracelets. Elle has kindly shared her treats and RB make a point to drop Elle a few pieces of his delicious specialty kibble, which is awesome considering Elle eats a totally different kind of delicious specialty kibble and the end result is: quit trading you nincompoops. Your mama's spend good money on that kibble and it is for your precious little tummy that can't handle eating anything else in the whole wide world, because goodness knows we've tried. Ahem.
The first night I got them all leashed up, potty bags in my pocket, keys in the other and set off for a quick tour around the neighborhood to stretch legs and take care of business. It was going splendidly, (other than the idiot that seriously asked me if Rhett was Elle's tender for the race and then I laughed and it got awkward because he meant it and didn't think it was funny, not one bit) until a family stopped to pose for a photo between the two of them (HE IS SO SMALL! SHE IS SO BIG! AWWWW!) and they asked me what their names were.
"Oh! This guy is Rhett Butler, and the lady friend is Elle Woods!!" I responded brightly.
The husband glanced at the wife. "Um. Do you call them that....all the time?"
"Sure... um. Well. Yes. His name is Rhett Butler and her name is Elle Woods......." I said, much less enthusiastically and starting to trail off. I ran over their names in my head. Rhett Butler. Elle Woods. Elle Woods. Rhett Butler. I could see the family backing away from me, the wife rolling her eyes. (Whatever. They probably have a stick figure family on the back window of their mini-van) Oh no. I've become....that person. All I needed was my wrinkly English bulldog Winston Churchill to complete my WASP trifecta of preppy and...something......I skulked off, wishing that perhaps Elle's collar wasn't so splendidly pink or that Rhett's harness+leash+collar were not a fantastic trio of lobster & sailboat ribbon.
And after that I introduced them as Fido & Sassy Pants. It just seemed easier. I also instructed them to stop for a potty break around any mini-vans with stick figure family stickers on the back window. Just in case.
LOL this is hilarious. I think dogs with full names are fabulous--and funny! My Boston Terrier is Fitxgerald O'Hoolihan (he is an Irishman afterall) Cute post!
ReplyDeleteBwhahaha. If it makes you feel better, I like unusual pet names. My mom's dog's name is something super convoluted, like Ella Von blankity blank blank. We call her Ella for short. She had to have some registered name for papers, or something.
ReplyDeleteMy cat's name is Jim Morrison. Morrison for short.
I plan on naming all my animals something awesome. Screw that family. And they were tourists anyway, I bet... totally with stick people decals on their Windstar.
I happen to loathe stick figure families on the backs of mini vans. So good on ya! :)
ReplyDelete1) Why would someone with a dog named Rhett Butler or a dog named Elle Woods ever refer to their dog as anything other than Rhett Butler or Elle Woods? I don't get it. What did he want you to call them?
ReplyDelete2) An English bulldog is my dream dog. But so is a shiba inu. And a few other kinds of dogs.
3) Ew, minivan stickfigure families.
Well I for one think both names are refined and classy.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I've had cats named Romeo and Juliet, Scarlett and Rhett, and Elizabeth and Raleigh (as in Queen and Sir Walter).
This had me rolling. Love it!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, this was delightful. Pets deserve good, interesting names too!
ReplyDeleteBahaha! My dog has a first and middle name, too! Those people were totally the stick-figure kind.
ReplyDeleteCute picture, too!
I hate stick figure stickers. LOATHE actually. They are ALL THE RAGE in California.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I used to have a cat named Winston Churchill.
I'm not in a position to tease someone about his/her dog's name since I have almost 20 nicknames for my dog.
ReplyDeletehate stick figures on cars ESPECIALLY when they have names on them. but seriously, you call the dogs by their name, cause uh, that's what they're for?
ReplyDeletemy dog has about 20 nicknames too, but she mostly goes by her given name.
i freaking HATE the stick figure families on the back of mini-vans. Those people suck--the dog names are cute, and they totally probably have a stick-figure stickered mini-van.
ReplyDelete